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Question
Posted by: Butterfly | 2011/07/18

Divorce

Morning
How or what do u tell a 5yr old, that his parents are getting a divorce.
He is my god child and have no idea how to handle the situation or what to tell the kid.

Thanks

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

There are no global rules here, as so much depends on the child, what they know of parental conflict, and who is telling the, Generally, neither make light or it nor make it a major drama, and make it more of a series of Talkings About that a one-of Telling.
One usually best starts by exploring gently what the child already knows and suspects and fears, and then frankly but kindly one discusses what will be happening. As many children fear it is somehow THEIR fault that the break-up is occurring, it's wise to re-asure them that none of this is their fault, and that both parents still love them and will continue to love them.
I am puzzled, though, why it is you as godmother who feels it is your duty to tell the child, rather than his parents ? Its usually best for the parents to sit down together and talk about what is happening, with the child.

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2
Our users say:
Posted by: The Other Woman | 2011/07/18

Why do you feel obligated to tell the child? Surely it''s the parent''s duty???

Reply to The Other Woman
Posted by: cybershrink | 2011/07/18

There are no global rules here, as so much depends on the child, what they know of parental conflict, and who is telling the, Generally, neither make light or it nor make it a major drama, and make it more of a series of Talkings About that a one-of Telling.
One usually best starts by exploring gently what the child already knows and suspects and fears, and then frankly but kindly one discusses what will be happening. As many children fear it is somehow THEIR fault that the break-up is occurring, it's wise to re-asure them that none of this is their fault, and that both parents still love them and will continue to love them.
I am puzzled, though, why it is you as godmother who feels it is your duty to tell the child, rather than his parents ? Its usually best for the parents to sit down together and talk about what is happening, with the child.

Reply to cybershrink

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