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Question
Posted by: Anonymous | 2009-11-22

Divorce?

Thank you very much for your prompt reply. I am very grateful for advice.
We were never able to communicate.
He just walks away and gives me the silent treatment - or gets revenge long after the fact (to my shock and surprise).
His whole family handles conflict the way he does. They are completely adverse to any confrontation.
By now (after ten years of dating and six years of marriage) I am so full of hate, anger and resentment that I am probably very difficult to be around.
I am just sick and tired. Just worried about my kids.

Now he is talking and nitpicking about technicalities. Just again irrelevant accusations.
I just want to cry.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Where there are problems like this of recent onset, there is a better chance of sorting things out and returning to an earlier and better level of functioning. But reaching a better level than you have EVER functioned within the relationship is a far more challenging prospect.
Obviously your situation is very frustrating, but now more understandable from these recent comments - if this is how his entire family did function and still do function, he may have had no opportunity to experience let alone learn any other way of dealing with problems, and may be bewildered by the suggestion that there are better ways of doing it.
Unable to face or deal with the main issues, of course he tries to nit pick, to find some little nits to pick at which are less frightening for him.
Be strong and work ou what is best for you and the children, with the support of a counsellor if necessary - and a good lawyer to protect your financial interests and those of the children

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

1
Our users say:
Posted by: cybershrink | 2009-11-23

Where there are problems like this of recent onset, there is a better chance of sorting things out and returning to an earlier and better level of functioning. But reaching a better level than you have EVER functioned within the relationship is a far more challenging prospect.
Obviously your situation is very frustrating, but now more understandable from these recent comments - if this is how his entire family did function and still do function, he may have had no opportunity to experience let alone learn any other way of dealing with problems, and may be bewildered by the suggestion that there are better ways of doing it.
Unable to face or deal with the main issues, of course he tries to nit pick, to find some little nits to pick at which are less frightening for him.
Be strong and work ou what is best for you and the children, with the support of a counsellor if necessary - and a good lawyer to protect your financial interests and those of the children

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