Posted by: vs | 2009-05-22


hi there pls i need help i m 42 years old been married to this man for
23years got married at very young age we have 4 chldren together
he use to beat me a lot i have scars all over my body he is treating
me very bad he talks to me like i m nothing i have done my best to
make this marriege work he does not respect me at all i dont
want to be with him anymore i hate him so much i dont even
want to be in the same room with him what i would like to know
is what is the first step to take cos i realy want to dirvoce this
man i dont want anything from him he can keep the house everything as long as his out of my life for good i cant live in fear anymore i want my life back i love my children very much
i have spoken to them they know the situation i dont want to turn them against their father pls expert i m desparate i need your help

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageDivorce support expert

Dear VS,

23 years is a very long time to try to make things work and have so many scars to show for it. You have a right to not put up with this kind of relationship. You have done the best you could and you deserve to be happy and be in peace.
Your concern about your children is primordial and to raise the fact that you do not want to turn them against their father is very important indeed. Unless they could be in physical danger with their father, as you mention physical abuse to yourself, they should have the right to love and have a relationship with both their parents, unconditionally. Trust that your children's love for both their parents will be reinforced by the respect the parents have towards the other.
Parents are role models, before, during and after a divorce/separation. You have a responsibility towards your children and this shouldn't change after your relationship has ended. Keep loving them and start seeking the happiness you deserve. A happy parent is always a better parent.

I wish you all the best.


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