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Question
Posted by: Suprised | 2010/11/13

Disturbed

Hello

I am staying in a complex in pretoria. My problem is i live next to white lady who does not like black people, afraid to use the other word. Everytime my family bumped into her in the parking she even goes all the way to talk alone in afrikaans saying how she hates black people and why are in this world. She has a 4year old son same as mine, one day she screamed at her son not to touch my son as we are not human. This morning i was picking up a free local newspaper at the gate, i bumped into her and her friends. As soon as i turned she was swearing in afrikaans that ek is moeg met blacks walking aound next to my car. I wanted to confron her but the complex is all white and iam afraid maybe they feel the same and i will be get hurt. I am enough with her and i want to tell her a word or two. I was young during apartheit time and she is really making feel the taste of how bad it was them. She is realy making me emotionally drained. How do i deal with this person. I know i wont make her love my colour, but she can keep it to herself and her family. Please advice before i burst.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Good grief, what an ugly, prejudiced and foolish woman she is !

No doubt the complex would not be able to act against you without running into legal problems, and there are national organisations concerned with such obvious racism and hatred which might be interested in this awful woman.

Maybe we should be pleased that she is now a freak, whereas not very long ago there were many more like her.

As you say, what horrible twisted ideas boil around in her tiny mind is her affair, but speaking them aloud and making anyone else feel bad, is NOT her privilege.

She seems to think that by speaking cruelly but in Afrikans, that you might not understand what she is saying ? I wonder if she'd be surprised if one day you said, pleasantly but in Afrikaans : "More Tannie - dit lyk soos wonderlike weer vandag!"

And discuss this with your son, to help him understand that not everyone is like this woman, who has twisted and ugly ideas about anyone different from her ( indeed, she'd probably have nasty things to say about Indians, or Portuguese or Greeks, or anyone fortunate enough not to be a duplicate of herself ).

And that one should feel sorry for them, because they will not be able to enjoy the interesting diffferences between us, and we need not take their ugly comments seriously or to heart.

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Our users say:
Posted by: Suprised | 2010/11/15

Thank you for all your comments

I will teach my 4year old that not all white people are the same as the lady next door, to ensure he does grow up thinking that.

But Thamks for all your comments, i feel much better.

Reply to Suprised
Posted by: Me - who is also white | 2010/11/15

I''m also not going to apologise for being of the same colour as this sad excuse of a person, however I am embarrased that another fellow human being can behave in this manner. I want you to know that, thank God, there are many more very very nice white people than there are racists, and I would really encourage you to allow your child and family to get to know some of them. Unfortunately, and sadly, there are racists across all races, and yes, they are entitled to their belief but there is NO EXCUSE for sharing those with other innocent people who have just as much as a right to be on this planet - expecially children who do not see colour.

I can only laugh at her remark of you/your child " not being human"  How naive of her! Shame - I feel sorry for her (and her child for that matter). I wonder if her child has a pet, and if the child is allowed to touch it, because it is after all " not human" !

From me to you, I want you to know that she is the one not human, and not you.

Either rise above this really unfortunate incident or lay a charge. that should shut her up once and for all!

Good luck.

Reply to Me - who is also white
Posted by: Phil | 2010/11/15

You know what, I''m white and she is a dissgrace to educated white people. And something else, your little child does not deserve that. Go to the cops, and lay a charge of hate speach. Teach these uneducated people stuck in caves to behave!
This is what saddens me, there are horrile people of any cllor and race, thatnk GOD that there are people from the same races that have cultured and becme educated.

I just want you to know one thing, laying a charge would teach her a lesson. But you need to understand why. She propably don''t know any better, she propably grew up in a racist backward familly that raised her like that. Not an excuse, but we have idiot parents like that in all races!

Reply to Phil
Posted by: cybershrink | 2010/11/14

Good grief, what an ugly, prejudiced and foolish woman she is !

No doubt the complex would not be able to act against you without running into legal problems, and there are national organisations concerned with such obvious racism and hatred which might be interested in this awful woman.

Maybe we should be pleased that she is now a freak, whereas not very long ago there were many more like her.

As you say, what horrible twisted ideas boil around in her tiny mind is her affair, but speaking them aloud and making anyone else feel bad, is NOT her privilege.

She seems to think that by speaking cruelly but in Afrikans, that you might not understand what she is saying ? I wonder if she'd be surprised if one day you said, pleasantly but in Afrikaans : "More Tannie - dit lyk soos wonderlike weer vandag!"

And discuss this with your son, to help him understand that not everyone is like this woman, who has twisted and ugly ideas about anyone different from her ( indeed, she'd probably have nasty things to say about Indians, or Portuguese or Greeks, or anyone fortunate enough not to be a duplicate of herself ).

And that one should feel sorry for them, because they will not be able to enjoy the interesting diffferences between us, and we need not take their ugly comments seriously or to heart.

Reply to cybershrink
Posted by: Maria | 2010/11/13

I don''t have advice for you, and I''m not going to apologise on behalf of everybody who shares my pale complexion... but I''m so sorry you''re going through this. While there are some people of my generation (I''m 39) who are still rabidly racist, the sad thing for me is that they are still bringing up their children to be that way too. Those kids won''t be welcome in the South Africa of the future. Please try to expose your son to non-racist white people so that he doesn''t think all of us fit that horrible stereotype.

Reply to Maria

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