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Posted by: disappointed and hurt | 2011/02/25

disrespect from husband

This year should be my 25th wedding anniversary. Do I feel happy and proud. NO!!!

Throughout my marriage I have been loyal and faithful. When an ex-schoolfriend added me to a list where he sends me religious mail, I asked his permission for that, as I do not hide anything from him.

He cheated on me:
- 10 yrs ago he sent frequent msgs of loving and missing her, and also wanted to marry her.
- a year ago I found out that he had a ''relationship'' with a lesbian woman for 2 yrs. Apparently non physical, but mentioned things like " I love you"  for this and that about 3 times in a sentence, and also calling her his SOULMATE!!! I was devastated. I told this woman and him off, but now, a year later, she invites him on FB saying: I miss you... friends? Also, my husband is a hypocrite as he is always disgusted with any gay person, yet he had this ''thing'' with a lesbo.

Why does a stupid man like that not realise that, though the above hurts and stays with a woman forever, the VERY WORST hurt is that he does not have a clue as to what to say or do to make things right. Why does he not understand that he needs to reassure her over and over again that she is worth something and that he was plain STUPID!

I cannot live with this disrespect of his. And yes, to me this is absolute disrespect towards me. Btw, his tone when he talks to women on the phone, be it business or whatever, is so sweet, whereas to me, it''s not and he gets irritated, etc.

What do I do? I deserve better!

Thanks for your time and advice. Appreciated.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

OK, so he has cheated and is a hypocrite. Of course that;'s hurtful, and his interpersonal skills sound highly absent. Could you talk him into marriage counselling ? Or, if he refuses to see any problem or to try to solve them, is leaving him an option ?

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Our users say:
Posted by: cybershrink | 2011/02/26

OK, so he has cheated and is a hypocrite. Of course that;'s hurtful, and his interpersonal skills sound highly absent. Could you talk him into marriage counselling ? Or, if he refuses to see any problem or to try to solve them, is leaving him an option ?

Reply to cybershrink
Posted by: Disappointed and hurt | 2011/02/25

We could be therapy for one another. Could you send me mail to net underscore vir underscore my at yahoo dot com. We can chat further.

Reply to Disappointed and hurt
Posted by: Young wife | 2011/02/25

Can I just ask you this? How was your relationship throughout the marriage? would you marry him again if you could go back?
I kind of felt that this will be me in years to come while reading your post, my husband also speaks nice to every other woman on the phone or person but with absolute irritabilty to me. I also cannot be friends with certain men on social networks or he will flip (very jelous).

any advise for me - P.S I know I am not perfect and there are things that I need to change too...

Reply to Young wife

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