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Question
Posted by: Me& Myself | 2012/06/02

Dispair

I wish I had the guts to just bring an end to my life. I know however suicide is not about ''going away'' but rather ''leaving behind''. It will devastate my children but on the other hand, they will be better off with their father and his new wife. They have everything and more to give the children, and I don''t just mean on a monetary level. On every level.
Since I can remember I have had to fend for myself and in the process made stupid mistakes - eventhough at the time of making a decision, it seemed like the right one. In retrospect it was not.
Today I am in a one-horse-town, having relocated from a big city to follow my heart. My dream has turned into a nightmare as I still, after 2 years, have not formed any friendships. Acquiantences, yes. But no one to go out with, have a chin-wag with over a glass of wine etc. The man I have left my previous (city life) for to come to one-horse-town, is pretty much doing his own thing. I know he loves me but when he needs a break, he takes it. With or without me. My children''s father lives and works abroad and the kids are my responsibility 24/7. I love them dearly, but am tired of life.
Money is not everything, but it will certainly help me get away from this, my situation. Every passing day I feel myself slipping further and further away.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

M&M, suicide is often the question, but never the answer. Your children would, absolutely NEVER be any better off without you, even if their father and his new wife were available as good parents and support. You are important for them to grow optimally.
OK, you've made mistakes - everybody does ; fools don't recognize that there was a mistake, and fail to learn from them. So you followed a dream and it didn't work out. Revise the dream and the plan. The children's father does have to provide far more support for you and the cjhildren, both in cash and in emotional support.
Is there a possibility of moving back to the town where you have more friends and support, and/or to family who could also help ?
And as Liza says, whether privately or from state facilties, urgent competent care with meds and CBT should be found soon.

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

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Our users say:
Posted by: Tanya | 2012/06/04

Me&  Myself and can I add " &  us" ..... you are certainly not alone and I''m so pleased that you are feeling better today. Keep posting right here. Would love to know how things work out for you xx

Reply to Tanya
Posted by: Me& Myself | 2012/06/03

From the bit that I told here you all have summed up what I know deep down. A big thank you for your insight and support. And thank you CS.
Tanya &  Liza - how do I get in touch?

Reply to Me&amp Myself
Posted by: Liza | 2012/06/03

There is light at the end of the tunnel and it''s not an oncoming train. You deserve help and your children deserve a mother who''s not depressed and overstressed. If you have a medical aid, please go see a specialist psychiatrist about treatment options (remember that depression is a real chemical imbalance in the brain that can be treated). With an anti-depressant and some CBT-style counseling (Cognitive behavior therapy) you''ll soon feel a LOT better and be able to cope with all the stresses that life throws at you.

If you don''t have a medical aid, there are still treatment options available. I''ve got LOTS of experience with state facilities and if you let me know where you stay, I can give you more specific advice on where to go and what to do.

Good Luck
Liza

Reply to Liza
Posted by: cybershrink | 2012/06/03

M&M, suicide is often the question, but never the answer. Your children would, absolutely NEVER be any better off without you, even if their father and his new wife were available as good parents and support. You are important for them to grow optimally.
OK, you've made mistakes - everybody does ; fools don't recognize that there was a mistake, and fail to learn from them. So you followed a dream and it didn't work out. Revise the dream and the plan. The children's father does have to provide far more support for you and the cjhildren, both in cash and in emotional support.
Is there a possibility of moving back to the town where you have more friends and support, and/or to family who could also help ?
And as Liza says, whether privately or from state facilties, urgent competent care with meds and CBT should be found soon.

Reply to cybershrink
Posted by: Tanya | 2012/06/02

@Me &  Myself.....I so feel and understand your pain. Remember that suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem and your children will live with losing their mom in this way for the rest of their lives and possibly blame themselves which I''m sure you would not want. Decisions are difficult to make sometimes but one should respect their decisions and make the best of them. If things really dont work out. take it as part of your learning curve and change tactics. It wont be a train smash.
The most important things in life are a roof over your heads, clothes to wear, a warm bed and food to eat. I truly hope that you and your children have these things at least.
I posted under Parenting Support - " Inspiration-I Hope"  something that helped me deal with the strains of bringing up children, perhaps this will help you a bit. If you are 24/7 responsible for your children YOU alone will be the bow that is stable and someone out there is looking after you make no mistake.
Be strong, take care and let me know how things are going. xx

Reply to Tanya

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