Posted by: anon | 2009-03-18

Disgusted by Ex,

My ex and I broke up 2 years ago, we still keep in touch because we have a child together. Recently one of his best friends came to me and told me that my ex needs direction because he is getting out of hand. I obviously asked what is happening and they told me that he has basically become a male gigolo. He sleeps with his ex-girlfriends (not me) and they pay him. His friends are concerned that he will be contracting AIDS, and his family is is turning a blind eye.This weekend he is leaving to Cape Town to be with his girlfriend for a week, doesnt bother me because we are no longer together but I will permanently leaving Durbs with his daughter and he will be too busy spending time with his girlfriend to even say goodbye to his flesh and blood. I told him to just leave us and alone and move on with his life because I have no respect for him. Did I do the right thing?

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Our expert says:
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Surprised to hear there is such a maket for a male gigolo / male prostitute in SA, as there are so many people eager to provide such services for free. And how sad that his ex gf are so desperate for sex that they feel they need to pay him for it. It is indeed likely that he will contract HIV/AIDS if he insists on living this way, and nobody but he himself can prevent that. His family are either irresponsible in not caring, or perhaps they have tried for years, and given up. He has given you no reason whatver to have any respect for him --- respect ought to be earned, within a relationship. As yby says, make sure the maintenance court forces him to pay maintenance from his earnings, however earned. And make sure there is never any sexual contact between you and him, as nobody else ought to be exposed to the risks of HIV and other STD through his chosen behaviour.

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Our users say:
Posted by: Katy | 2009-03-18

You don' t say much about whether he spends time with his daughter or not...
If he has been visting and spending time with her surely this permanent move will impact on your daughter? Have you asked her how she feels? Also, you don' t say how old she is and if he has been very involved in her life surely she would still want to see him?

WIth regards to his sex life.. It really is none of anyone' s business... If they' re so concerned they should SPEAK TO HIM and not about him to everyone else! Besides, he is an adult and if he' s being irresponsible, then that' s HIS CHOICE!

Also, you don' t say WHY he should leave you and your daughter alone..... Isit because of his sex life or is there more that you' re not telling?

Reply to Katy
Posted by: You bet ya ! | 2009-03-18

Well done girl !! Could' nt agree with you more. But... please don' t let him off the hook with maintenance. as well as regular increases.You must go after him without mercy and get whatever you can. That should be the only concern you have. Go for it !!

Reply to You bet ya !

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