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Question
Posted by: Anon | 2011/11/29

Discosing

Ten years ago i was diagnosed with genital herpes and i have been getting at least two outbreaks in a year. I meet a guy afterwards and i told him about it and he rejected me because of that. I then met my boyfriend of 5 years who did not mind but unfortunately things did not work out between us. Now i met a new boyfriend i have not yet told him about it. I am so afraid i do not even know where to start. Is there a better way od doing this? How do people feel in general about genital herpes?

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

It can be frustrating and disappointing if people reject a sexual relationhip with someone who has herpes ( even worse if they reject any even non-sexual relationship for that reason ). But uderstandable. If you had known, before sleeping with whoever transmited that virus to you, that they had this infection - would you have gone ahead and had sex with them ? Or perhaps refused, reasonably, fearing just this sort of later impact of the act ?
Anyhow, you then met someone who didn't mind, and with whom you were able to have an apparently reasonably satisfactory relationship for 5 years, before parting for other reasons.
Lets see what other readers have to say about attitudes to herpes and about ways of telling someone. NOT telling someone, who later discovers they have caught the infection, and recognizes this was from you who did not tell them, is surely an even more reliable relationship killer ?

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Our users say:
Posted by: cybershrink | 2011/11/29

It can be frustrating and disappointing if people reject a sexual relationhip with someone who has herpes ( even worse if they reject any even non-sexual relationship for that reason ). But uderstandable. If you had known, before sleeping with whoever transmited that virus to you, that they had this infection - would you have gone ahead and had sex with them ? Or perhaps refused, reasonably, fearing just this sort of later impact of the act ?
Anyhow, you then met someone who didn't mind, and with whom you were able to have an apparently reasonably satisfactory relationship for 5 years, before parting for other reasons.
Lets see what other readers have to say about attitudes to herpes and about ways of telling someone. NOT telling someone, who later discovers they have caught the infection, and recognizes this was from you who did not tell them, is surely an even more reliable relationship killer ?

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