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Question
Posted by: Clara | 2010/12/08

Disappointment

hey cybershrink

i just want to know what is the point of having friends and family if they are never there for me?

every time i have to struggle on, on my own. i ask for help, but nobody helps. they just go on with their lives. no helping hand.

they just disappoint me.

i honestly do not know why i need contact with anyone except myself because it is only me that is there for myself.

wish everyone would take their empty promises and shove it up somewhere far away.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

A kid once defined "family" as "people who come to dinner, but they aren't friends". Family we don't get to pick, though we can choose whether to waste time or effort on them. Some are great, some aren't. Don't assume that they will always be there to help - some will, some won't, but expecting the ebst from some people is like expecting lightning to be gentle.
There are, as the old sayings go, plenty of "fair-weather friends" - always happy to lend you their umbrella, provided that it isn't raining. And when you actually need something, well, just go on and need it - they are not friends, just hangers on and users.
Look for opportunities to BE a good friend, to people who actuallty deserve your help, a nd you may find more people who understand what it is, and might be there when you need something

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

5
Our users say:
Posted by: Hi Clara | 2010/12/08

Print this and stick it on a wall somewhere. This is a great, ancient truth.
" WHEN TIMES ARE HARD, FRIENDS ARE FEW" 

Reply to Hi Clara
Posted by: Clara | 2010/12/08

Thank you cybershrink and Just me.

Yeah Pol, I hear you but I will never ask anyone for money.

Most of us only have enough money to provide ourselves with life''s basic needs.

I''m talking about friends that I am there for no matter what, but when I need someone to sit by my side through the night or in sickness or loneliness, nobody is there.

luckily I have a wonderful girlfriend.

all i wish is for people to realise that:

EMPTY PROMISES HURT MORE THAN JUST SAYING NOTHING

Reply to Clara
Posted by: pol | 2010/12/08

The question is why do you have friends for? some friends are there just to have ONLY fun with you and you need to know that where as some will be there through thick and thin....you need to categorise those friends and start short listing with a clear criteria which will inform the purpose of having certain friends....NOW maybe you don''t have real friends and you only have convinient friends. So you can''t then claim return on investment when you are sht.

and again let''s all realise that the world will always move on, the fact that i don''t have R 2000 that you need for your car''s deposit does not make me a bad friend either.....

I suppose the real question is, how good of a friend are you..? if you are not a good friend, well don''t be surprised....the bottom line is - the world does not owe you jerk but a kick in the but, you are lucky to be alive and well. dust yourself and move on. Get a religion as well so you understand how the world works, you will discover that it is you....the barrier and the TV friendship does not exist

Reply to pol
Posted by: Just Me | 2010/12/08

Amen!
Funny how friends seem to cling around when everythings hunky dory and you''re footing the bill, but absolutely long gone when the going gets tough. In fact after so many deaf ears, one stops bothering to call them.
Fortunately some of us are extremely fortunate to have a loyal friend who is always there (and mine is NOT someone I''ve known all my life, ''cause they''re the ones who can''t be bothered!)
...but yes Clara, many don''t and I absolutely hear you.

Reply to Just Me
Posted by: cybershrink | 2010/12/08

A kid once defined "family" as "people who come to dinner, but they aren't friends". Family we don't get to pick, though we can choose whether to waste time or effort on them. Some are great, some aren't. Don't assume that they will always be there to help - some will, some won't, but expecting the ebst from some people is like expecting lightning to be gentle.
There are, as the old sayings go, plenty of "fair-weather friends" - always happy to lend you their umbrella, provided that it isn't raining. And when you actually need something, well, just go on and need it - they are not friends, just hangers on and users.
Look for opportunities to BE a good friend, to people who actuallty deserve your help, a nd you may find more people who understand what it is, and might be there when you need something

Reply to cybershrink

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