Our expert says:
Its interesting that your self-image ( its fine, of course to be a girly girl ) seems to depend so much not on what you are youreself, and what you do yourself, but on having a girl-child to be a girly-girl as well, or almost instead of you yourself.
What if you had a baby girl, who as she grew did not WANT to be a girly-girl ? Would her wishes be more important than yours ? Would she need to be created in your image, as it were ? Girl or boy, an issue seems to be that you want the child to be something paerticular FOR YOU, rather than anything at all For Itself.
You are not being ridiculous at all, and not even being selfish, but the extent of your sense of disappointment suggests that there are significant unresolved issues within you, about your sense of yourself, that would be very well working through with a good local counsellor. Its almost as though you have mixed feelings about the girly-girl thing, and feel free to enjoy that aspect of yourself only if it is confirmed by a similar daughter, only if you can share it with her. Counselling could help you to enjoy yourself as you are, and your children as they are.
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