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Question
Posted by: piggi | 2011/06/07

dis weg

Ek is24 en het al 2 kleinkies gehad . Ek is baie lief vir my man maar is net nie meer lus vir seks nie.
Hy praat altyd van die goeie ou dae ( 4 jaar terug ) toe ons nog 5 keer op ''n dag seks gehad het . Maar nou wil ek nie meer nie . Al waneer ons nou seks het is waneer hy my smeek of omkoop .
E weet dit klink erg as ek dit so stel maar dis die waarheid .

Hy het ook gegaan en gaan speelgoed koop soos vibrators en snaakse goed om soos hy se ons huwelik optekiker . Maar ek hou nie davan nie .
Nou se hy as ons nie ons huwelik opkiker ens nie gaan ons dit nie maak nie .

W kan ek doen ? Is dit die waarheid van die 3 , 6 ,9 12 jaar hikups in ''n huwelik ?
Ek is op die pil , kan dit wees dat die piil my lus wegvat ?
Is die inspuiting ''n beter opsie ?
Is dit waar dat die inspuiting mens vet maak ?

Help asb . E is lief vir my man en wet hy het ook drange

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageSexologist

Some women do find that various methods of birth control may affect their sexual desire. It may help to contact your clinic or doctor and try an alternative, but to give you some information,the average frequency for sexual activity in a long term relationship is once or twice a week. It is also quite common that in the beginning of relationship women may have a greater interest in sex and possibly be less inhibited in sex than her 'default' position would be. This is due to chemicals in the brain which are released in the beginning of a relationship - amongst other things they result in slightly higher testosterone levels in women which may account for higher sex drive at this time. Unfortunately due to a cruel trick of nature these changes are temporary and after a while (between 6months - 4 years) returns to a more 'normal level'.

In addition to these changes (which are nobody's fault), there may be other changes that can affect libido, such as concern for children, anxiety, exhaustion. Sexual needs in a couple may vary. When it comes to discussing the differences in sexual needs (which is VERY common) it is important to encourage both partners to be willing to understand what it is like for the other partner and then come to some middle ground / a negotiated compromise. Some women feel resentful if they feel they have to have sex, if there is the expectation which then may cause them to avoid any sexual contact. Talk to him about this so that you can relax a bit. You know that he has a higher sex drive than you, so maybe talk about ways that this can be met when you're not desiring it (a useful way of talking about it is like other appetites, he could say - I'm hungry, you're not, would you mind making me a sandwich or should I make myself one?). It may end up with him 'making himself one' (i.e. masturbating).

If this information does not help does not help, it may be a good idea to get further advice from a trained professional in your area, please contact the SASHA (South African Sexual Health Association) helpline Tel -0860 100 262 for referral.

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

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Our users say:
Posted by: Mr G | 2011/06/09

Probeer dalk `n " IUD"  soos `n merina?

Het wonders vir my vrou gedoen... :)

Reply to Mr G
Posted by: Sexologist | 2011/06/09

Some women do find that various methods of birth control may affect their sexual desire. It may help to contact your clinic or doctor and try an alternative, but to give you some information,the average frequency for sexual activity in a long term relationship is once or twice a week. It is also quite common that in the beginning of relationship women may have a greater interest in sex and possibly be less inhibited in sex than her 'default' position would be. This is due to chemicals in the brain which are released in the beginning of a relationship - amongst other things they result in slightly higher testosterone levels in women which may account for higher sex drive at this time. Unfortunately due to a cruel trick of nature these changes are temporary and after a while (between 6months - 4 years) returns to a more 'normal level'.

In addition to these changes (which are nobody's fault), there may be other changes that can affect libido, such as concern for children, anxiety, exhaustion. Sexual needs in a couple may vary. When it comes to discussing the differences in sexual needs (which is VERY common) it is important to encourage both partners to be willing to understand what it is like for the other partner and then come to some middle ground / a negotiated compromise. Some women feel resentful if they feel they have to have sex, if there is the expectation which then may cause them to avoid any sexual contact. Talk to him about this so that you can relax a bit. You know that he has a higher sex drive than you, so maybe talk about ways that this can be met when you're not desiring it (a useful way of talking about it is like other appetites, he could say - I'm hungry, you're not, would you mind making me a sandwich or should I make myself one?). It may end up with him 'making himself one' (i.e. masturbating).

If this information does not help does not help, it may be a good idea to get further advice from a trained professional in your area, please contact the SASHA (South African Sexual Health Association) helpline Tel -0860 100 262 for referral.

Reply to Sexologist
Posted by: Bee-Bee | 2011/06/08

Ja, ek het ook al gehoor dat die inspuiting `n groot eetlus in `n persoon veroorsaak en dus tel jy baie op.

Ek is ook vas oortuig daarvan dat sekere pille `n lae drang in sekere vrouens veroorsaak - dit het definitief met my gebeur  -(

Reply to Bee-Bee
Posted by: piggi | 2011/06/07

Hi ek is op trigestrel dis die pil se naam.
ek was al op die inspuiting toe se mense dit maak n mens vet dishoekom ek dit gelos het

Reply to piggi
Posted by: Bee-Bee | 2011/06/07

Op watse pill is jy, piggi?

Yasmin het my drang weg gevat.

Reply to Bee-Bee
Posted by: ll | 2011/06/07

jy sal moet iets doen.....so nie gaan jou man begin rondkyk!sex is nie alles nie,maar n mens wil dit graag kry by jou EIE vrou!!!

Reply to ll

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