Our expert says:
Some women do find that various methods of birth control may affect their sexual desire. It may help to contact your clinic or doctor and try an alternative, but to give you some information,the average frequency for sexual activity in a long term relationship is once or twice a week. It is also quite common that in the beginning of relationship women may have a greater interest in sex and possibly be less inhibited in sex than her 'default' position would be. This is due to chemicals in the brain which are released in the beginning of a relationship - amongst other things they result in slightly higher testosterone levels in women which may account for higher sex drive at this time. Unfortunately due to a cruel trick of nature these changes are temporary and after a while (between 6months - 4 years) returns to a more 'normal level'.
In addition to these changes (which are nobody's fault), there may be other changes that can affect libido, such as concern for children, anxiety, exhaustion. Sexual needs in a couple may vary. When it comes to discussing the differences in sexual needs (which is VERY common) it is important to encourage both partners to be willing to understand what it is like for the other partner and then come to some middle ground / a negotiated compromise. Some women feel resentful if they feel they have to have sex, if there is the expectation which then may cause them to avoid any sexual contact. Talk to him about this so that you can relax a bit. You know that he has a higher sex drive than you, so maybe talk about ways that this can be met when you're not desiring it (a useful way of talking about it is like other appetites, he could say - I'm hungry, you're not, would you mind making me a sandwich or should I make myself one?). It may end up with him 'making himself one' (i.e. masturbating).
If this information does not help does not help, it may be a good idea to get further advice from a trained professional in your area, please contact the SASHA (South African Sexual Health Association) helpline Tel -0860 100 262 for referral.
The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal
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