Our expert says:
WHY would you want to contact him again ? I'm not arguing against it, but in favour of more clarity of motives and expectations. If you don't decide where youre heading, you often don't get there, and may not realize that you've arived somewhere else.
Someone else has told you "he has nothing against you". How delightful ! Is that, someone else's opinion, a good basis for deciding to see him again ? You are already happily married to a good man - why hurt him ( or get into murky secrecy issues ) ? Isn't the door on that past already closed ? Seeing or contacting him again would only re-open it.
As there is clearly someone else communicating between you, why not simply, through that person, send him a message that you are now happy, and hope that he is, that you don't think it would be wise for either of you to get back in contact, and that you wish him well. ?
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