Our expert says:
Mandy, it probably won't surprise you to hear that there are a number of possibilities here as you have already alluded to some of them. Yes, Cipralex could still have a negative impact on your libido and your ability to experience orgasm. As you have noticed, you can experience orgasm through masturbation now but it still takes a while...if you are struggling to tell your new man that you are not orgasmic, and also that there is not much foreplay, I wonder if you are able to tell him what you like/what he must do that is pleasurable? If you don't, then the stimulation you receive may not reach the now increased orgasmic threshold. You can check with your GP if you need to be on Cipralex at all, perhaps Welbutrin is enough...or perhaps you are ready to try withdraw all medication (discuss this carefully with your GP first though). If you are taking emotional strain during the divorce and adapting to single parenting...perhaps you need to try asking for a substitute rather than withdrawal.
Given the trauma you went through with your husband, it is entirely possible that you still have fears about committing to another man...if so, this could impact on your sexual response. Furthermore, does your 'opportunity for true happiness' mean that you are looking forward to a safe and secure relationship and/or that you are attracted to him? If you are going safe (given your past experience) you may be facing additional struggles with your libido and may need to talk to a sex therapist about this.
Beware starting this relationship off with lies (the faked orgasm) - even though your intentions are good, think about how betrayed you felt by your ex...consider coming clean and tell him about how the medication has had this effect. Even if he struggles with this, he needs to understand what is going on in order for the sexual part of your relationship to grow from hereon in.
Claire - SASHA
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