Our expert says:
If she cheated on him, one might understand him rejecting her - but not his entirely innocent children, who he had a legal and moral obligation to care for. Its remarkable how well their mother managed to care for them, and what she helped them to achieve.
Your sister's hatred isn't fair, is it ? These kids don't owe her anything, including a job, and worked very hard for whatever they have, without any help from her or her father. Why should they have given her any money ? If they had problems, would she give money to them ?
Faced with severe problems in life, they didnt sit and brood and wait for her to pay for them, they worked with their mother and solved their problems for themselves.
Expectations vary among communities, but in her home community, would neighbours usually be expected to give financial support to someone in their 20's, who could support themselves, because they became an orphan ?
She keeps asking "what have they done for us?", but doesn't seem to ask what she has ever done for them, or indeed for anyone else.
You say you have never been unemployed, yet you presumably faced the same difficulties she did, but managed the situation much better, as she could have done.
YOu're right to notice that she is her own worst enemy. She didn't have to get an unemployed guy as her boyfriend, or to have a child by him.
Somehow, one can understand her repeated complaint that her superiors in whatever job she has, seem to be shouting at her - she probably deserves it, and could avoid the shouting by working harder.
I'm not certain that you "still have to be supportive", at least not in the way you assume. In some ways, it could be said that by just keeping quiet, giving her money when she demands it, and avoiding criticism, you could be encouraging her to be the dysfunctional, angry, resentful and unpopular person she is.
You would be justified to tell her, calmly, that you are exhausted by hearing the same sorts of complaints from her all the time, and would prefer it if she didn't tell you about all the things she feels angry about. If she chooses to include you among the people she won\t speak to, that could be a great relief
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