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Question
Posted by: help | 2010/11/22

Difficult collegue

I have this collegue that I work with. I don''t like the way she speaks to me, as it is very confrontational, impatient or condescending. After this morning confrontation I feel that I don''t want to deal with her anymore. Will it be unprofessional if I tell my manager that I don''t want to work with her anymore. The thing is I don''t know how to handle the situation and, I am not very good with confronting people. Please advice.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Its so silly of businesses to expect everyone to "be a team player" irrespective of how badly some the members of the team may behave.
Liza's more expert here than I, but a discussion with HR seems called for. Managers need to recognize that its often not a matter of someone not being capable of working with others - SOME "others" are horible for anyone to have to work with, and they are the one at fault.
I wish someone would find whoever has been promoting "confrontation" and put them away on a desert island to confront palm trees.

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3
Our users say:
Posted by: Liza | 2010/11/22

You will need to lodge a grievance with your HR department. If you just tell your manager that you do not want to work with her, it can come back and bite you in the behind. Your manager might then think that you don''t work well with others - which could limit your career options in future. You do not want that to happen.

Why do people always want to confront others? Confrontation is the least constructive way to deal with things. Rather follow the right channels - that way its harder for anyone to point fingers in your direction!

Good Luck
Liza

Reply to Liza
Posted by: lizard | 2010/11/22

good bloody luck, that happened to me, in my case I asked an exhibitionist colleague to lower her voice as I could not hear my clients, it escalated into a situation where I was repremanded
for not being a team player, its pitiful how low the standard has dropped today

Reply to lizard
Posted by: cybershrink | 2010/11/22

Its so silly of businesses to expect everyone to "be a team player" irrespective of how badly some the members of the team may behave.
Liza's more expert here than I, but a discussion with HR seems called for. Managers need to recognize that its often not a matter of someone not being capable of working with others - SOME "others" are horible for anyone to have to work with, and they are the one at fault.
I wish someone would find whoever has been promoting "confrontation" and put them away on a desert island to confront palm trees.

Reply to cybershrink

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