advertisement
Question
Posted by: Nix | 2010-05-31

difficult 15 year old son

Hi
A week ago I posted something re my out of control 15yr old. On Sat he hurt his sister and went completely out of control when I tried to reprimand him. So much so that I sat outside with my two girls in order to escape his verbal abuse and threats. I was actually scared of my son...which really hurt. On sunday I sent him with all his clothes to his dad. I reached a point of no return. I couldnt trust him with his siblings and I realise that I can''t raise him if I can''t control his behaviour. he even told me that he is bigger than me so I can''t stop anything he wants to do. I''m struggling to come to terms with sending my son away. I feel like I''ve let him down. It''s like i don''t deserve to live because i gave up on my baby. i just dnt know how to feel right now. I feel guilty and inadequate...i worry about him, is he ok? his dad isn''t like me, his dad won''t place his sons needs first. I want my child to be happy... I''m so scared that i made the wrong decision and destroyed my son''s life.

Not what you were looking for? Try searching again, or ask your own question
Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

If he is threatening or carrying out threats of physical violence, you could consider calling the police and laying charges against him, to help him at least realize that this is serious stuff and not to be done. Clearly, he needs to be within a system of clear rules adn consequences, to learn the essential life lessons of discipline. Of course you worry about him, because you're basically a good mom, thouigh perhaps no skilled at handling the very difficult situations a kid creates like this. Of course you deserve to live, and he is not a baby any longer, even if he is behaving like a dangerously strong baby without a sense of responsibility of self-control.
Placing your son's needs first may in fact NOT place his needs first - what he wants is often not what he needs. YOU are not destroying your son's life. IF his dad would be les tolerant and more likely to provide discipline, that could be really useful for the boy

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

2
Our users say:
Posted by: lizard | 2010-05-31

dont stress you did the right thing , boys are bloody hectic and need their father to sort them out, dont feel bad, he needs his dad more than you now anyway, a mother cant teah her son how to be a man and a son at his age cant realy speak to you about man''s things, he also extremely hormonal now, plus having a identity crisis he not a child nor adult, and he''s groping
his way towards manhood in the dark, leave him with his dad he will calm down and tell you he is sorry and that he loves you. Hard to do but ignore the words that come from the tantrums he ''s in pain , nothng new for boys or girls

Reply to lizard
Posted by: cybershrink | 2010-05-31

If he is threatening or carrying out threats of physical violence, you could consider calling the police and laying charges against him, to help him at least realize that this is serious stuff and not to be done. Clearly, he needs to be within a system of clear rules adn consequences, to learn the essential life lessons of discipline. Of course you worry about him, because you're basically a good mom, thouigh perhaps no skilled at handling the very difficult situations a kid creates like this. Of course you deserve to live, and he is not a baby any longer, even if he is behaving like a dangerously strong baby without a sense of responsibility of self-control.
Placing your son's needs first may in fact NOT place his needs first - what he wants is often not what he needs. YOU are not destroying your son's life. IF his dad would be les tolerant and more likely to provide discipline, that could be really useful for the boy

Reply to cybershrink

Have your say

Thanks for commenting! Your comment will appear on the site shortly.
Thanks for commenting! Your comment will appear on the site shortly.
advertisement