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Question
Posted by: Allan | 2011/10/05

Different personalities in a relationship

Hi

i''m in a relationship ,the both of has have different personality that does affect both us at times.She is a strong type personality and i''m not strong has her.

What is your opinion on this going forward?

THANKS

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

There are no general answers here. It depends on each personality involved, and how this translates into behaviors ( the same basic personality might not always behave in the same way ) ; and on how each of the couple are prepared to adjust to the other. sometimes a relationship in which each of the couple are too alike can become boring, and some degree of diference can be helpful, if you complement each other rather than insisting on clashing.

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Our users say:
Posted by: K | 2011/10/07

there is no such thing as clashing personalities, and the concept does not break up relationships.

lack of respect, no communication, unwillingness to compromise, selfishness......those things are the culprits.

Reply to K
Posted by: cybershrink | 2011/10/06

There are no general answers here. It depends on each personality involved, and how this translates into behaviors ( the same basic personality might not always behave in the same way ) ; and on how each of the couple are prepared to adjust to the other. sometimes a relationship in which each of the couple are too alike can become boring, and some degree of diference can be helpful, if you complement each other rather than insisting on clashing.

Reply to cybershrink
Posted by: Happy | 2011/10/05

Excuse me EXPERIENCE for not clarifying earlier however please don''t make the assumption that I boss hubby around. I get angry because he doesn''t say no to ANYONE, even if it means him staying at work until 16:00 on a Saturday. I don''t boss him around BECAUSE I know he can''t say no.

Reply to Happy
Posted by: EXPERIENCE | 2011/10/05

Its is interesting to see the replies ,especially HAPPY - if you truely think that all is ok ,then something is amiss or your hubby is a really puppy &  obeys his madam.
I''ve been thru this &  it is the worst form of punishment to be in a relationship where there is extremes in personality.This affects both ,maybe one might not think it is a big deal but the other will surely be affected &  this causes heartache ,frustration in a marriage.Also this restricts the one partner from freely expressing their views.I feel for those in this because I was there &  hated it - at the end of the day it is no ones fault but just the way we are made.

Reply to EXPERIENCE
Posted by: Happy | 2011/10/05

I don’ t agree with the above…  I am married to the most wonderful, loving man on earth- and we are COMPLETELY DIFFERENT! From the food we like, to the music, to movies, to going out and socializing, etc. I am very introverted, he is extremely extroverted. I prefer a quite night in, he loves to go out and party. I am the kind of woman who doesn’ t take people’ s rubbish  he’ s like a puppy who can’ t say no. And we fight about it, trust me do we fight. But we love each other that we try compromising, we try seeing things from each others shoes, we know when no one is going to win the argument and we just stop. But I notice the only thing you mention is that she is a strong woman and you aren’ t as strong as her? Is that the reason why you want to call it quits? If that’ s the case, then rather leave- if you are not strong enough to stick it out, to try and make the effort to be a stronger man, etc and if none of you are prepared to compromise, try see things from each others point of view, etc then you don''t deserve each other.

Reply to Happy
Posted by: Sue | 2011/10/05

We are in a relationship and there are more times where we enjoy each others company and times where we challenge everything and get upset with each other. We''re confused whether partners that get along like this have a good future or partners where one is strong and one passive/submissive have a better future. .

Reply to Sue
Posted by: Candy | 2011/10/05

I agree with HELPER - been there done that &  got hurt ,personality traits is a big issue,we start looking for all reason to blame things when the problem are the 2 due to the differences.

Reply to Candy
Posted by: Helper | 2011/10/05

Personality difference - that can be a huge problem in a relationship.I''m talking from experience after 2 divorces due to just that one downfall in each other.At times you think it is not a problem but it does interfer in the marriage more frustration steps in due to this.Not sure if you both are married OR just dating but if the later i suggest you revisit this relationship to see if it can be saved but my personal opinion leave and still be friends than get in deep and be enemies.
Wish you both luck - you will need it.

Reply to Helper

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