Posted by: Angel | 2009-07-08

Did I do the right thing?

Hi guys. I decided to leave my husband again, the second time. Reasons are so many. Abusive physically, mother always interfering and he wants to know nothing about her cause she over powers him with money,he wants to put his foot down but I have to pay half of the bills and then he demands that I have to be submissive???why is it that I miss him so much and am so scared?believe me we had good times but I cannot dwell on this all the time as I knew deep down for a long time that it is not going to work. He is living in the house. I pay half which I am not going to pay over at the end of the month. Mothers maid cleaning, oh and the list goes on. Why does it hurt?I live in a community where everybody knows everybody and he is going to clubs and pubs. I dont mind this but him and his family are the most scared of people but yet he is out like this. It hurts me but I would at least expect him to have respect for his/my family to not " expose"  the fact that we are seperated?do you guys have any advise on how I can " start with my new life" ? I know I done the right thing but right now I feel I didn' t. How sick?I am keeping busy as I go to the gym everyday and totally appreciate my girlfriends being there for me as we have an active program everyday. I dont have kids with him but I do have a beautiful son of 11(got pregnant at 17). I am only 29. Thank you for taking the time to read my post and all of the best to the people that are going through/went through something like this. Cheers

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageDivorce support expert

Hi Angel,

however dysfunctional a relationship may have been, it is nonetheless a loss and we, humanbeings, do not like to loose things.
You need to mourn your loss. Do not be hard on yourself. It is perfectly normal, and as you say, there were good times, but you followed your gut feelings and new it was a healthier choice for you to walk out from this relationship. The physical abuse alone is good reason enough. You are a young woman with your entire life ahead of you. You deserve to be with someone who will love you the way you deserve to be loved.
This is not a breaking point in your life but a change of direction.
1)-accept what cannot be changed,
2)-focus on what's left and not what is lost
3)-refuse to be discouraged.

Love and gratitude

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

Our users say:
Posted by: CCM | 2009-07-27

Hi Angel
If you think your situation is bad, read mine:

I am in exactly the same situation. I had asked him to leave house because he stopped coming home, we are currently still married, however he goes around with another woman introducing her to everyone. We were married for 5 years, and have no kids, I am also 29 years old.
It is difficult for me, because I also think of the good times we had. But for him to go around with another woman,introducing her around- in my hometown by the way, is so disrespectful that really, its not worth it.

I also work out alot and thank God I have a very supportive network of friends and family.

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