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Question
Posted by: Sam | 2010/07/12

Desperate

Hi. I''m a gay guy that has fallen in love with his best friend. The problem is he''s not gay (well, I''m 99,99% sure). He knows I''m gay. Since I''ve told him our friendship has been even better. But it''s tearing me up inside feeling this way about him and prentending everything is ok. I can''t risk telling him because I''ll risk losing his friendship or making things weird between us. I really don''t know what to do and it''s eating me up inside. I don''t sleep, I don''t eat. I am really crazy about him but can''t handle the reality. Please help

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Am I understanding you right - your friend is comfortable after you told him you are gay, but you have not told him you have a crush on him ? Maybe it'd be worth discussing this issue on some of the available online gay forums, as others may have had relevant experience of such situations. I wonder whether it isnt perhaps likely that he will work this out for himself based on what he notices, or on what others might poiont out to him, and whether if this is so it would not be better for you to take more control over the situation by discussing this with him, starting perhaps with a more general discussion about how you have had a mutually enjoyable usual friendship, but how would he feel if on your side this began to feel more serious

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Our users say:
Posted by: cybershrink | 2010/07/12

Am I understanding you right - your friend is comfortable after you told him you are gay, but you have not told him you have a crush on him ? Maybe it'd be worth discussing this issue on some of the available online gay forums, as others may have had relevant experience of such situations. I wonder whether it isnt perhaps likely that he will work this out for himself based on what he notices, or on what others might poiont out to him, and whether if this is so it would not be better for you to take more control over the situation by discussing this with him, starting perhaps with a more general discussion about how you have had a mutually enjoyable usual friendship, but how would he feel if on your side this began to feel more serious

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