Posted by: zinhle | 2012-05-22


Im 29yr old female and in a relationship with a 47yr old man. I am hiv negative and he is hiv +.We have been dating for 3yrs. Sex was great in the beginning until 7months into the relationship then it tapered off to twice a month and i had to initiate.then a year in it was once a month.
Ive tried talking to him. He told me he had a similar problem with his x. I know im attractive, i get complements all the time from strangers and his friends and I stil have x''s pining over our sex life but im against cheating. I forced him to go to men''s clinic, he refused to tell me what the diagnosis was but they gave him a long prescription which he never filled out.
We managed to fall pregnant with the help of a doctor, since finding out ( january) he has never touched me. i have not gained weight , and im the envy of most females. I feel sexy and want sex but nothing
Ive this close to cheating becoz its becoming unbearable. I dont think he is cheating, i can pick up if someone has taken his attention. he will cuddle me when we sleep and hug n kiss me when we part but no nukkie.
He claims he is scared to infect the baby, but that is what condoms r for. Its gotten to a point where i will pick a fight so i can get time alone to chat to this cute guy i met.
He is acting like a typical black man and not wanting help.I know he doesnt have an erection problem, but his libido is non existent.
I knw he has a cholesterol and liver problem but could that also affect libido?

Please advise

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageSexologist

please consult a couples therapist. through therapy, each individual can express their needs / want in a safe environment in which a solution is always on the cards.

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Our users say:
Posted by: Majozi | 2012-05-24

@Jesse,you are badly brought up you fuc?en Jellybody.Zinhle,I thinks your man has a problem with ED caused by high cholesterol.Ask your man to start going to the gym if he doesnt want to go through all medical procedures at the Clinic. Good luck.

Reply to Majozi
Posted by: Tanya | 2012-05-23

Your point was actually your man''s low libido,we get that.
Why then did you even bring up the fact regarding HIV? HIV by the way does not infect anyone as you say - it only infects those that sleep around without protection and unfortunately, in the old days, those who''ve had transfusions and of course the poor innocent babies that are born from HIV+ mothers.

Reply to Tanya
Posted by: zinhle | 2012-05-23

I am hiv negative and it was through IVF and sperm washing and past the window period. Im am in the clear and so is my baby. I adhere to proper condom use and my mother is a medical doctor. I have been reading medical journals and books on hiv since my teens . HIV has no race or class, it can infect anyone.

but that was beside the point.

Reply to zinhle
Posted by: @@@@@@@@@@@@@@ | 2012-05-23

In all aspects this country still has a lot of trajectory it needs if we are to transcend into a betetr society free of discrimination, racism and ignorance. Firstly Ina there is nothing wrong with conceiving with a partner that is HIV+ especially when the proper process under a supervision of a qualified medical practitioner has been adhered to fully. Zinhle I hope you have taken the necessary precautionary measures to conceive and ultimately deliver a health baby whilst preventing any HIV infection.

Jesse I do not know what you mean by kafricans nor do I want to assume that it means anything racially offensive. Irrespective I hope you derive joy and fullfilemnt from name calling. Once you become a parent you soon realise that it is a blessing if your child/ren can emulate the GOOD that you do to this beautiful world and even offer more. I am black and do not take kindly to people who their sole motive is to disrespect others whilst inflicting pain into society.

Reply to @@@@@@@@@@@@@@
Posted by: Ina | 2012-05-23

Zhinhle, don''t mind the racist remarks on here. Our country still have a long way to go. What bothers mé  is the fact that you have become pregnant from someone who are HIV positive. That is not fair to that baby.

Reply to Ina
Posted by: Jesse | 2012-05-23

@ not nice guy..... Dude you think i give a crap about your opinion? Dumba$$

Reply to Jesse
Posted by: Tanya | 2012-05-23

Jesse......Kafricans, best word heard in a long time. Must submit to Wikipedia. Wafricans/Kafricans/Bafricans, all good. Well done!
Not nice guy....takes one racist to recognise another!
Back to the original post......have no answer for you really. You''ve made your bed now lie in it so to speak.

Reply to Tanya
Posted by: not nice guy | 2012-05-23

Jesse,you are a racist a-hole!!! Crawl back into the hole you came out of,bastard.

Reply to not nice guy
Posted by: Jesse | 2012-05-23

Typical kafricans..... eish da draaaaaamah!!!

Reply to Jesse
Posted by: sexologist | 2012-05-22

please consult a couples therapist. through therapy, each individual can express their needs / want in a safe environment in which a solution is always on the cards.

Reply to sexologist

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