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Question
Posted by: worried | 2011/12/12

Depression / Suicide

I have been depressed for the past 15 or so years. Nice, hey? When i confronted my folks about depression, what they told me is this:''Depression does not exist, fix it yourself''. And so I have been trying to do so for the past 15 years. But lately it has been getting too much, in the sense that suicide feels like the right option. Is it? I know they won''t miss me and all, but how should I go about it?

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Not nice at all, as obviously you know. Unfortunately many people are so ignorant that they don't believe in conditions like depression, so long as they haven't experienced it themselves. Don't EVER rely on such ignorant and unkind people. Suicide is sometimes the question, but never the answer. It doesn't matter whether they would or would not miss you, but the essential point that you can and will be feeling a great deal better after proper and competent treatment for chronic depression.
Do arrange, as soon as possible to see a good local psychiatrist for a proper assessment and diagnosis, and a discussion of your treatment options. See a priovate psychiarist if you have medical aid, or arrange urgently, maybe through a casualty dept, to see someone at your nearest medical school or major state / provincial hospital or clinic.
Depression is a miserable and potentially chronic condition, but does usually respond really well to proper treatment, and you deserve the best management of it available to you.
And on Phil's comment - yes, a habit of negative thinking is a significant part of the problem, and that is why CBT ( Cognitive-Behaviour Therapy ) aimed at breaking that bad habit, is so successful in treating depression. But your family are wickedly and dangerously ignorant about Depression, and extremely well-recognized and proved to exist condition

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Our users say:
Posted by: Phil | 2011/12/13

I hear you  and removing yourself from the situation will definately help. Sometimes  your mind can be such a powerfull thing. You can take critsism and say thanks  because that could meen 3 things. 1. You get the oppertunity to hear what you must change  or improve something. (Depends if there is some truth.) 2. When people are negative towards you  it could highlight their faults  like for instance they might feel insignificant themselves. Taking it out on someone else makes them feel better. 3. You can just say  to hell with you Ï " know what Ï " am and you don''t count.

So I would say  get out of there. Get treatment. And start to teach your brain to ban the negative thoughts. It will take time  but all these options will help you change.

Reply to Phil
Posted by: worried | 2011/12/13

@Roamny
Thanks for the sounds advice.
Will get away from my folks permanently soon enough.

Reply to worried
Posted by: Romany | 2011/12/13

I think you should just get away from your " folks" asap.
Maybe a visit for an hour or so every Sunday? More than enough.
Surrond yurself with positive people and you too will become positive.
Get treatment asap.....
and no, it is not normal

Reply to Romany
Posted by: worried | 2011/12/13

@Phil
My folks think that the best way to motivate someone, me, is through, what they call " negative motivation" . Basically it means that they tell you that you are nothing, and you must work your way out yourself to become someone. That is normal for everyone, I guess. But when you are being told that you are nothing on a continuous basis, for years, you begin to believe it. Thus negative thinking of yourself becomes normal.
Thanks for your advice though!

Reply to worried
Posted by: Yvonne | 2011/12/13

Good Day,
Don’ t listen to the people that tell you to snap out of it, If it was that easy we would all just love to do that. It sucks to be depress the hole day long. Butt depression is an illness so what do we do when we are ill go to the doctor for help. I agree with Maria go and get help I was there where you are now just 6 months a go. Trust me it is not that easy, even with pills you have your off days, people with depressions off days is just 100 times worse then people with out depression. Today you feel on top of the world and tomorrow you would like to stay in the hole you are in and just lie there. Get someone to talk to that helps I have someone to talk to that knows how I feel when I call and say I am having an off day she gets it. Don’ t let ignorance determine your life. Just remember you are not alone even if it feels like you are.
Hope this helps
Yvonne

Reply to Yvonne
Posted by: Phil | 2011/12/13

They aren''t completely wrong. Yes depression is an ilness  but you must alos realise. You become what you think  and if continuesly spend time in the negative  then you will become the negative. So yes  you get treatment to help you to chnage the way you behave. But obviously  you also have to do something about it?

So yes  your familly weren''t wrong altogether. You need to get help to chnage your behaviour or thoughts. and YOU  need to want to change.

Reply to Phil
Posted by: cybershrink | 2011/12/13

Not nice at all, as obviously you know. Unfortunately many people are so ignorant that they don't believe in conditions like depression, so long as they haven't experienced it themselves. Don't EVER rely on such ignorant and unkind people. Suicide is sometimes the question, but never the answer. It doesn't matter whether they would or would not miss you, but the essential point that you can and will be feeling a great deal better after proper and competent treatment for chronic depression.
Do arrange, as soon as possible to see a good local psychiatrist for a proper assessment and diagnosis, and a discussion of your treatment options. See a priovate psychiarist if you have medical aid, or arrange urgently, maybe through a casualty dept, to see someone at your nearest medical school or major state / provincial hospital or clinic.
Depression is a miserable and potentially chronic condition, but does usually respond really well to proper treatment, and you deserve the best management of it available to you.
And on Phil's comment - yes, a habit of negative thinking is a significant part of the problem, and that is why CBT ( Cognitive-Behaviour Therapy ) aimed at breaking that bad habit, is so successful in treating depression. But your family are wickedly and dangerously ignorant about Depression, and extremely well-recognized and proved to exist condition

Reply to cybershrink
Posted by: Maria | 2011/12/12

Why are you letting these people who don''t know what they are talking about, dictate to you? Please go and see someone to help you, at the very least your GP or otherwise a psychiatrist. And if you need to speak to someone right now, call LifeLine at 0861 322 322. Suicide is a permanent solution to temporary problems. Depression is an illness, and it can be treated successfully with medication and talk therapy. You don''t have to live in this hell you''ve been in for 15 years. No doctor will laugh at you or tell you to " fix yourself"  or " snap out of it" . They will take you seriously, and give you the help that you need and deserve.

Reply to Maria
Posted by: Maria | 2011/12/12

Why are you letting these people who don''t know what they are talking about, dictate to you? Please go and see someone to help you, at the very least your GP or otherwise a psychiatrist. And if you need to speak to someone right now, call LifeLine at 0861 322 322. Suicide is a permanent solution to temporary problems. Depression is an illness, and it can be treated successfully with medication and talk therapy. You don''t have to live in this hell you''ve been in for 15 years. No doctor will laugh at you or tell you to " fix yourself"  or " snap out of it" . They will take you seriously, and give you the help that you need and deserve.

Reply to Maria

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