Our expert says:
Its a common concern, or excuse, that one expects to find it difficult to talk to a therapist because they['re "a stranger" - but of course everyone you meet is a stranger at first, and a therapist has particular skills to help make it easier to get used to talking in this situation.
In her 50's she should require "taking care of " at this stage of her life, but the request suggests she feels very shaky and insecure of her ability to take care of herself. Counselling / psychotherapy is Definitely needed, so continue to work towards persuading her to move ahead this way.
I agree with Anon that some books may be helpful, IF they are written by and based on the work of genuien experts. I very strongly do NOT recommend the book Anon mentions, because it is foolishly based on the false and totally discredited work of Elizabeth Kubler-Ross. I knew Elizabeth, and while we got on well personall, she made wild claims abour having done "research" she never actually did, and eventually chatted about being visited in her hotel room by friendly hairy-chested angels,and there was a major scandal at a treatment center she ran in California. The "Stages" theory is utter hogwash, and all good evidence shows there are not and never were 5 stages in any sense of the word "stage". Her misleading "stages" were simply a commercial re-packaging of well recognized and common ways of responding to loss and alarm, that are not stages, do NOT occur in any particular sequence, and therapies based on her theories have never been shown to be useful and indeed have often been found to cause more problems than they relieve.
In fact its a reliable test of any self-help book on grief or dying - if it mentions Kubler Ross and her stages with approval and without criticism, then it is not to be trusted.
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