My dad died 2 years ago - it was a very sudden death 3 weeks from diagnosis to death. It shocked us all as we were a very close family. Since my dad''s death my mom has gone off the rails. She is acting like a person we don''t know. I recently (end of last year) convinced her to go and see someone about her depression which she did reluctantly and got onto some anti depressants and anti-axiety tabs. I told her she needs grief counselling, but she says she can''t talk to someone she doesn''t know. She makes no effort to make female friends. The meds have helped, but she is living a really reckless life, she is hanging out with men 20 years her junior (men with no jobs, house, money etc.), drinking all the time, smoking joints, bongs etc as often as possible...like nothing else in her life matters. We have tried to encourage her to get a job, or find something to keep her busy but she refuses, she would rather sit at home all day and then go out at night with her many ''guy'' friends. We try to include her in our plans but she ends up embarressing us by drinking too much and passing out, so I have stopped inviting her. My sister has tried to speak to her about her complete lack of respect for herself but she hasn''t changed. I know this is a terrible thing to say, but I feel like she died when my dad died and that she is a person who through the 39 years of marriage and the mother I knew that doesnt exist anymore. I dont'' know her, nor do I want to...honestly I dont know what to do. She is my mother and I can''t just let her waste her life (she''s in her early 50''s) but I feel guilty ignoring her. Just before my Dad died he asked me if I would take care of her if he died and I said I would....but I have a husband and 2 kids of my own to think of. My sister speaks to her and all my mother speaks about is bragging about her reckless behaviour - like she has nothing else to talk about and has lost the person she is. It''s making me depressed, I can''t sleep and I feel helpless.