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Question
Posted by: XXX | 2010/12/04

Depression and cocaine

Hi Doc

I''m not sure if u remember but recently I''ve asked you about electroconvulsive therapy...I''m hanging by one string and it''s really hard...I''m seeing my psychiatrist this coming week and he will probaly change my medication again. Back in the day I experimented with drugs..Cocaine and weed never appealed to me as it would take me a week to come down from it except for pills which made me happy as I''ve been depressed for over a decade and suffered panic attacks and constant anxiety without even knowing what it was. Only started being medicated recently after my nervous breakdown...I''m feeling like I should have never existed...few weeks ago I''ve tried cocaine afer a very long time thinking I can''t feel any worse after the state i''m in now and it really appealed to me as for the first time I felt normal..I don''t feel high i just felt on a normal and slightly numb level..This was a big mistake as I can''t stop thinking about that normality I felt so I ended using alone at home for the past 2 weekends as i dont go out anymore and havent had a drink in almost 6 months...I know this is really bad as I can get addicted very quickly with the state im in and have even more problems. I''m aware of the situation and consequences but the antidepressants after trying 3 different types at highest dosage don''t work and anxiety is affecting my work.. I decided to attend NA. Went there once,felt really bad for people but couldn''t relate as I''m currently a potential addict due to my depression...I thought maybe there is like a free organisation like NA but for depressed people. I''ve been looking online and cant find any free group meetings for people suffering from depression, anxiety and panic disorders. I''m not really good with phoning the helplines as I have a bit of a phone phobia and social phobia but can handle the social part better. Would like to hear how other people cope. As I went to a psychologist and didn''t really have anything to talk about as I''m over my past and I have chemical imbalance as told by my psychiatrist and my gynae who said i produce too much testosterone and insulin. Please let me know if there is anything like that as I mentioned available as i dont want to become a cocaine addict and end up killing myself for ruining my own life because of depression and the fact I''m very weak and fragile at the moment and not scared of death but don''t want to cause my mom the biggest pain and affect her as I''ve seen my depression has affected her because she tries to help but she doesn''t know how as she doesn''t know what it feels like.

Thank you so much in advance

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

OK, well at least we are sure you ought to have existed and ought to continue to exist - I hiope it won't be long before you agree with us !
Cocaine isn't good for the brain, in any situation. In depression it might make one feel a buit less depressed, or unpleasantly agitated. In Anxiety it would be unlikely to help relieve the feelings of anxiety.
However, whatever one feels while under the influence of ocaine is not "normal" even if it seems to resemble what you think normal used to feel like.
Maybe NA could help - so long as you don't do what most alcoholics do on encountering AA - look for things that enable you to see yourself as different from all the other folks there, and as therefore not Really having the same sort of problem.
I'm surprised you haven't come across the Anxiety / Dwepression Support Group ( number on this very page ! ) which has branches all round the country and can be very useful. Check them out
Psychologists ought NEVER to focus mainly on the past ( though some of the possibly inaccurate and unhelpful conclusions you may have drawn as a result of the past may be worth exploring ) - they should help focus on how to cope better with whatever situations and feelings currently cause problems.
I don't understand at all the suggestion that you produce either too much testosterone or insulin.
Fortunately your mom ( who, you're right, does not deserve the horror of a child suiciding ) doesn't need to know what it feels like in order to be supportive and helpful. I've never broken a leg, so far, and don't know exactly what it feels like, but that doesn't mean I can't help someone with a broken leg get X-rayed and put in plaster so they can heal properly.

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1
Our users say:
Posted by: cybershrink | 2010/12/05

OK, well at least we are sure you ought to have existed and ought to continue to exist - I hiope it won't be long before you agree with us !
Cocaine isn't good for the brain, in any situation. In depression it might make one feel a buit less depressed, or unpleasantly agitated. In Anxiety it would be unlikely to help relieve the feelings of anxiety.
However, whatever one feels while under the influence of ocaine is not "normal" even if it seems to resemble what you think normal used to feel like.
Maybe NA could help - so long as you don't do what most alcoholics do on encountering AA - look for things that enable you to see yourself as different from all the other folks there, and as therefore not Really having the same sort of problem.
I'm surprised you haven't come across the Anxiety / Dwepression Support Group ( number on this very page ! ) which has branches all round the country and can be very useful. Check them out
Psychologists ought NEVER to focus mainly on the past ( though some of the possibly inaccurate and unhelpful conclusions you may have drawn as a result of the past may be worth exploring ) - they should help focus on how to cope better with whatever situations and feelings currently cause problems.
I don't understand at all the suggestion that you produce either too much testosterone or insulin.
Fortunately your mom ( who, you're right, does not deserve the horror of a child suiciding ) doesn't need to know what it feels like in order to be supportive and helpful. I've never broken a leg, so far, and don't know exactly what it feels like, but that doesn't mean I can't help someone with a broken leg get X-rayed and put in plaster so they can heal properly.

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