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Question
Posted by: Es | 2011/07/21

Depression

My boyfriend suffers from depression and is taking Zoloft. Some days he is all babes and sweetpea etc and e-mails and SMS, and then he goes into close down mode, and I hear nothing from him. We spend weekends together and it is always awesome, but then sometimes he makes excuses on a Friday night to say he has a business dinner. I just got an e-mail from him saying he is going back to his old ways, retreating and retracting from the world, and it is not me its him - what do I do and how do I deal with this, He really took his divorce badly and seems to have feelings of unworthiness, but he is awesome, has his own business, two houses and has enough money, how do I make him see himself as special, I keep boosting him but when I dont hear from him for days I feel like walking away

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Mood is variable, and more so when someone is depressed. I really am so bothered by how often GPs especially, and even psychiatrists who really ought to know better, think they can competently treat a depression entirely with drugs. This is absolutely not so. Antidepresant drugs can be very helpful but almost always additional help in counselling or psychotherapy is necessary. When someone is deeply depressed, they may hear your attempts to boost their morale, but will probably not believe it. This is where a counsellor is so important. And then your own assistance will become more effective. Don't be discouraged by his distant and of days, but encourage him to get the extra help he needs and deserves.

Sorry for the delay in responding, but my instructions were ignored. This forum was supposed to be CLOSED to all messages throughout Thursday 21st and right through Monday 25th and only to re-open on Tuesday 26th. As my instructions were ignored I am horrified to discover a very large number of questions that should not have been possible to post, which have of course been unanswered while I was away. This makes me very angry and disappointed. I will try to respond as best I can, though very long message cannot possibly achieve full attention.

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Our users say:
Posted by: cybershrink | 2011/07/26

Mood is variable, and more so when someone is depressed. I really am so bothered by how often GPs especially, and even psychiatrists who really ought to know better, think they can competently treat a depression entirely with drugs. This is absolutely not so. Antidepresant drugs can be very helpful but almost always additional help in counselling or psychotherapy is necessary. When someone is deeply depressed, they may hear your attempts to boost their morale, but will probably not believe it. This is where a counsellor is so important. And then your own assistance will become more effective. Don't be discouraged by his distant and of days, but encourage him to get the extra help he needs and deserves.

Sorry for the delay in responding, but my instructions were ignored. This forum was supposed to be CLOSED to all messages throughout Thursday 21st and right through Monday 25th and only to re-open on Tuesday 26th. As my instructions were ignored I am horrified to discover a very large number of questions that should not have been possible to post, which have of course been unanswered while I was away. This makes me very angry and disappointed. I will try to respond as best I can, though very long message cannot possibly achieve full attention.

Reply to cybershrink
Posted by: Maria | 2011/07/21

Has he gone for counselling? Pills by themselves are often not enough.

And yes, one of the problems with being depressed is shutting people out. I''ve had friends telling me not to do that this week. But it''s tough because you feel that nobody wants to hear about your troubles all the time.

Reply to Maria

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