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Question
Posted by: Rozana | 2011/02/02

Depression

I am an depression sufferer, for the part 12 yrs now since it was diagnosed, i developed post natal depression just after the birth of my son in 1997 but was diagnosed late in 2008 after a yr of suffering from all the symptoms and pain.
I am very much better now i have been on Lorien medication until last yr Dec 2010. The reason why i am mentioning the fact that i have been a depression sufferer is cause i am developing a lo of enemies with everyone. My husband and me are not getting along, i feel he is rude and is not respecting me, and then it is the people at my work place as well. To start of my husband, he is my 2nd husband my 2yr old father, we are generally fighting about the fact that he is not taking me to parties when his friends has a party. He is always telling me it is his house and critisizing me in front of our helper and other people. When people are complimenting me, like the other day his friend who have met me for the 1st time said, " you has got a beautiful wife" ...as soon as his friend left, he said..the people dont know how u really look, u always wearing extensions, you have false teeth and make that you are wearing that all is making you beautiful and your clothes you are constantly wearing new clothes. I thought to myself how can my husband the father of my baby say that about me. He is always reminding abt the fact that it his house, and i mst obey to the rules. He also chased me out sveral times, once with the baby, he even locked us out. This is killing me cause i dont have a place to go to, i am constantly under stress and feeling even more depressed.When i got my bonus last year he used R2000 of my money, when i asked the money in January this yr, he said he did''nt have money, when i asked him to make a plan cause it is my child school money, my son (who is not his child) he said he can''t go and beg for me, when i was simpl asking my money. He said waht about everything he did for me, do i know how much i am owing now,i said but you know like i am very deperate for that money it means my child won''t be able to school this year, he aswered why should he care. he has never bought my son not even a item for the value R10 since we together for the past 4yrs now.
Then at work i have a problem with the people, i know i can become very aggressive at times, but they will always be scheming against me, only when they have an argument with one another then they will try to hook up with me as friend and telle me everything the others said about me. One of them also said that the other is very jealous of my clothing she said everyday when i come in her heart is beating faster, cause of what i am wearing. I am always trying to be goog to them but they just give me the opposite, and this is also stressing me.
I have no peace in my life at wrk and at home it is the same, i am always sad and bitter, sleeping many nights crying especially abt my husband who iss never supporting me in everything, i cannot even talk to about my problems at work, cause he is just the same. Sometimes i would rather take my frustrations out on my kids my 13yr old son and 2yr old, they are the ones i becoming a total monster too.

Please help me do you think i am over-reacting, or am i too sensitive about little thingsb cause i am a depression sufferer, cause i feel so bad now, everyone is just turning their backs on me, it seems as if i am the one who has got a problem. Another incident is also with my friend who i grew up with, i just warned that she should not be sending emails with naked people etc...she is also totally fed up with me just i have said that and she was sending bad stuff. Please help doctor, maybe i should go and see a psycologist...

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

You know, folks, these EXTREMELY long messages are really difficult to deal with, and less helpful to you than if you took the time to edit them down and identify the main points ( in itself, that's a useful exercise for you ).
I'm pleased to hear that you are now finding some relief from the treatment of your depression, just sorry it seems to have taken so long to be recognized and to start treatment.
Far too often, here in SA, I find that depression is inadequately treated entirely with a drug prescription, when the situation cries out for providing proper counselling / psychotherapy as well or even instead of the meds.
Your husband sounds cruel, crude and critical, and no drug on its own will help that. Marriage counselling might help, but I doubt that he would accept or take part sincerely.
Can't you kep your earnings in a separate account so he can't just pinch it and misuse it ? As he seems to provide nothing for you or your son, wouldnt you be better off on your own, with the child, rather than with such a selfish man ?
When separated, you could go to the Maintenance Court and they could make him at least pay regular maintenance for the child.
Maybe your aggressiveness towards other people comes from the way he treats you, and the stress he places you under. You are not over-reacting ; perhaps you are under-reacting, or at least reacting in ways that don't help you, rather than ways which might.
Do, indeed, see a counsellor to explore your alternatives and improve your ability to protect yourself and your child.

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

2
Our users say:
Posted by: QQ | 2011/02/04

And maybe stop buying clothes and hair and things that other people are so jelous of and spend the money on the hildren''s schooling.

Reply to QQ
Posted by: cybershrink | 2011/02/02

You know, folks, these EXTREMELY long messages are really difficult to deal with, and less helpful to you than if you took the time to edit them down and identify the main points ( in itself, that's a useful exercise for you ).
I'm pleased to hear that you are now finding some relief from the treatment of your depression, just sorry it seems to have taken so long to be recognized and to start treatment.
Far too often, here in SA, I find that depression is inadequately treated entirely with a drug prescription, when the situation cries out for providing proper counselling / psychotherapy as well or even instead of the meds.
Your husband sounds cruel, crude and critical, and no drug on its own will help that. Marriage counselling might help, but I doubt that he would accept or take part sincerely.
Can't you kep your earnings in a separate account so he can't just pinch it and misuse it ? As he seems to provide nothing for you or your son, wouldnt you be better off on your own, with the child, rather than with such a selfish man ?
When separated, you could go to the Maintenance Court and they could make him at least pay regular maintenance for the child.
Maybe your aggressiveness towards other people comes from the way he treats you, and the stress he places you under. You are not over-reacting ; perhaps you are under-reacting, or at least reacting in ways that don't help you, rather than ways which might.
Do, indeed, see a counsellor to explore your alternatives and improve your ability to protect yourself and your child.

Reply to cybershrink

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