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Question
Posted by: matilda | 2010/05/12

depression?

I need to speak with someone about my personal life and marriage. I have no one to talk to. My parents only get upset when I talk to them and to my best friends I cannot talk to as the one is planning her wedding and is super excited about married life and spending the rest of her life with her husband and my other friend is planning to start with a family.

I doubt marriage and having children. I do not know what I was thinking getting married in the first place. I cannot think of a single reason why I got married to my husband. I miss being single, doing my own thing and not always considering my husband. I miss my younger years where I went out with friends and we danced the night away. I am stuck at a job I do not feel fulfilled in as well as a marriage. I hear and read about people that after years are still in love with their husbands and wives, that they found their soul mates, that they new the minute they met each other they just new it was meant to be.

I think back and I cannot remember that I ever had those feelings. I am unhappy in my life and feel empty, like I have no reason to be here. Some days are worse than others and some days I find a way to ignore my feelings and just carry on.

I feel like disappearing to find myself and come back as a new person, but how does one do that without hurting others?

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Sounds like this could well be PND ( Post-Natal Depression ) and you really deserve to see a good local shrink for a proper assessment and treatment. A counsellor could help you to usefully explore this sense of being unfulfilled. NObody needs to spend each night dancing away, and it's sad that that now seems like a marvellous option to you.
There i indeed no way to disappear without hurting others rather awfully so that's not an option, and anyway it would not bring you what you want. Going off somewhere else, your misery and dissatisfaction would be the first thing you'd pack, and the first thing you'd unpack.

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

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Our users say:
Posted by: Hestia | 2010/05/13

Dear Matilda, it is sad that you feel that way. It must sound nice to be single again and doing all those nice things. However you must remember that you need to go home. Go back to an empy house. Make food for one person. Get into a empty bed. And if you want to turn around and speak to someone it is just you. Nobody to keep you warm, nobody to hear breathing next to you. Believe me, it is not all fun. I speak out of experience and want so much to be part of my own household. maybe just try to get some ME time. Think, if everyone is taken away from you tomorrow, will you still feel the same?

Reply to Hestia
Posted by: Joe | 2010/05/13

Hi Matilda, i am in the exact same situation as you, i also feel like running away somewhere and come back as a new person.

do i wanna die uhhhmmm i don''t think so but i just wish i can change everything that is wrong.

i understand how you feel and it still doesn''t make it easier to change myself or even to really assist you but maybe whether we going to like it or not but maybe a step forward by changing 1 thing at a time, because there is most definately more to life than what we are experiencing at this point in time.

Unfortunately somebody or someone is going to get hurt even yourself will hurt if you make any attempt to change something.

Wish i could talk to you that understand what i''m going through, i do know this that life is very short and you only live once and that is why if you want to change things you must try and do it otherwise we will keep feeling the way we do, totally depressed.

Maybe a good break somewhere alone in the nature or next to the ocean.

good luck to you and maybe take a walk around the block every night might also help with you mind setting.

Remember some medication can also temporarily help with depression, but i had prefer to rather not use medication to many other side affects.

Hope you get someone to talk to and hang in there you''ve made it for sometime now, so don''t give up in whatever you want to do.

Reply to Joe
Posted by: .... | 2010/05/12

there is no easy way to disappear without hurting people in your life.

why do you now have this unhappiness with your marriage and children and why are you missing being single - something must have happened that began this thought process in your mind it came from somewhere can you recall what it was?

i really doubt that you went ahead and married someone without having any deep emotion and love for them....there must be love there, have you recently had a child because if so you may have a form of post natal depression...having a child is a major life adjustment and daunting even for the seemly most prepared.

Reply to ....
Posted by: cybershrink | 2010/05/12

Sounds like this could well be PND ( Post-Natal Depression ) and you really deserve to see a good local shrink for a proper assessment and treatment. A counsellor could help you to usefully explore this sense of being unfulfilled. NObody needs to spend each night dancing away, and it's sad that that now seems like a marvellous option to you.
There i indeed no way to disappear without hurting others rather awfully so that's not an option, and anyway it would not bring you what you want. Going off somewhere else, your misery and dissatisfaction would be the first thing you'd pack, and the first thing you'd unpack.

Reply to cybershrink

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