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Question
Posted by: esther | 2010/04/14

depression

my daughter (10yrs) father lives with us and the twins. he gets up in a bad mood, shouts alot, swears all the time and everything bothers him. he doesnt seem to give her paternal love and is always shouting at her. he has been diagnosed with depression and anxiety and stopped taking the medication as he thinks it wasnt helping.

ive suggested the local hosp, but he is not prepared to go there and sit whole day. ive told him to leave as his behaviour is effecting all of us but he doesnt listen.

what can i do as i believe his making me sick- i am also dependant on him and he looks after the house and does the cooking and cleaning sometimes. im struggling financially and dont know what to do as it seems to be gettign too much for me. pls help- is his behav affecting my daughter?? i do see some changes in her

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

This sort of situation can be very frustrating, but there's no a lot you can do about it easily. They way you describe it, it sounds as though he fathered your daughter, but not the other children, and is not married to you. Is it YOUR house / home, and is he paying his way or expecting you to subsidize you ? If the latter, you would be free to ask him to leave, or at least make it clear that he must leave UNLESS he goes to the local hospital and sees a shrink and continues with treatment including learning how to control his temper and to avoid upsetting the kids. But from the sound of it, you feel dependent on him, though apparently he is not working (?) to care for the kids while you work ?
Does he cost less than a maid or child carer might ?
As for the effects on your daughter, the behaviours you describe would not be beneficial, buit she'll probably respond depending on how she sees you responding to the situation

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

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Our users say:
Posted by: cybershrink | 2010/04/14

This sort of situation can be very frustrating, but there's no a lot you can do about it easily. They way you describe it, it sounds as though he fathered your daughter, but not the other children, and is not married to you. Is it YOUR house / home, and is he paying his way or expecting you to subsidize you ? If the latter, you would be free to ask him to leave, or at least make it clear that he must leave UNLESS he goes to the local hospital and sees a shrink and continues with treatment including learning how to control his temper and to avoid upsetting the kids. But from the sound of it, you feel dependent on him, though apparently he is not working (?) to care for the kids while you work ?
Does he cost less than a maid or child carer might ?
As for the effects on your daughter, the behaviours you describe would not be beneficial, buit she'll probably respond depending on how she sees you responding to the situation

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