Our expert says:
The medicine(s) aren't likely to CAUSe the problems you describe. But if the central issue within your depression is Grief, no antidepressant is especially good at clearing that up --- what it needs is skilled psychotherapy / counselling, which is what you probably need most, and rather urgently, in view of the thoughts of suicide you mention. DO you really think your late mother would want you to do something like that, and bring so much grief to your husband and children and to everyone who knows you ? Ou are in no way stupid, but still, literally, grief-stricken, and you deserve proper counselling / therapy for this, not only to free yourself from these bad feelings, but to free yourself to produce a happier life that will be an appropriate memorial for your dear mother.
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