Posted by: JohnWayne | 2009/06/30



My girlfriend of not too long recently moved in with me, as she was really unhappyy with the place she used to stay at at the time.. we had an arrangement to split things halfway as we both had a good income. Since she moved in with me, she decided to just quit her job without telling me,she' s been sitting at home for the past two months,coming up with excuse after excuse of why she isnt working... at the same time, she has no means of an income, and im left paying all her things, car installments,life policies,gym,insurance,toiletries etc etc... she has not made any effort to start workingAT ALL... due to this, i am working late almost every nigh tof my life, im working weekends,i barely have any time to myself for anything, this has added alot of stress in my life as my budget has increased with 50%. - she seems oblivious t the fact that has taken a huge financial toll on me.. im lying awake at night,not sleeping at all, and when i tell her this, she just says dont worry, you' ll be fine!!

do i kick her out? do i stop payignher things?? this really has a HUGE impact on me, and i need some serious advise...

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Our expert says:
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Allowing her to move in after short acquaintance was, in retrospect, not a good idea, was it ? The agreement was to share expenses, it was selfish and irresponsible of her to quit her job without telling you, and indeed to quit it at all unless there were unusually major reasons. And to make no atempt to get another job, and expect you to pay for anything, is rude, selfish and unacceptable. YOu need to sit down calmly with her and spell this out. It is up to her to find somewhere else to live ( friends, or return to her family for the present ) amd to get another job --- even if she has to start with something less than she'd want in the long-term. The longer she fails to even try, the harder it will become for her to get a job at all.
Tell her she has one month to find sometwhere else to stay and move there, or to find a new job enouh to pay her share of your shared expenses and anything else she wants to spend on. Immediately stop paying for her gym ( that's a luxury ), and toileries, and life policies, and anything else not essential, and tell her that after the one months notice you'l stop paying insurance, car, and the rest of it. She can probably negotiate with the insurances and policies, to suspend them until she can afford to resume payments.
Tell her you will NOT be fin, and that you don't appreciate her selfishness, laziness and lack of caring.
She is using you, apparently shamelessly. Do not allow this to continue.

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Our users say:
Posted by: nowaybro | 2009/06/30

ok i just hope the sex is really good and she does some freaky things...if you discern you could get better elsewhere kick her out... unless you love her......but doesnt sound like it.....she' s like a parasite man...sucking you dry....

Reply to nowaybro
Posted by: Latoya | 2009/06/30

She is very lucky to find a man like you, i mean men this days, won' t even buy you airtime. i guess your sending this post is because you are uncomfortable with the situation, the sooner you talk to her the better, so it can give you peace of mind, otherwise she will think you are okay with everything and she wont make means.

Reply to Latoya
Posted by: just some thoughts.. | 2009/06/30

honestly , she sounds like a leach. If i were you i WOULD kick her out. I know its easier said than done , but imagine this situation a few years from now when familiarity sets in..and you guys get married ( which is usually the next step in most couples cases when they move together)..and you are still carrying this burden - need to do what you feel is right for you and you need to do it quickly. Soon it will de considered common law marriage and then legally there might be issues to get rid of something like this...

Reply to just some thoughts..
Posted by: Me!! | 2009/06/30

She' s taking you for a ride my friend!!!

Politely show her the door....

Reply to Me!!

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