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Question
Posted by: anon | 2010/12/02

Depressed, Scared and Alone

Good Day

I am a 26 year old male, Indian that has been depressed for quite some time now, I have a feeling of loneliness, guilt and many other symptoms. I cannot speak to my family as they will not understand they are more concerned with what will other people think, I live in a town that looks down upon you if you do something stupid and that makes me scared as I have a fear for what I did my parents will disown me and leave me stranded, I have been abusing alcohol lately and other substances and my mind is constantly on over drive, I think to much and I am experiencing sleepless night and if I do sleep, I tend to wake up in sweats as the anxiety overtakes me. I am back into a corner and just feeling alone...I am not to sure what do or who to turn to.

Just lost. If there are instances that i laugh or tend to be happy, i just think again of all the bad and i am back in a depressed state. Please advise.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

In any family, maybe a bit more in some cultures, the focus on "what will other's think" can take annoying precedence over a more efficiant care for the individual who doesn't feel well. DO, please, see a good local psychiarist for a proper assessment and a discussion of your treatment options - depression and anxiety often go together, and both respond well to treatment, both by medication and by CBT-style counselling, so there's no need to continue suffering without effective relief.

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

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Our users say:
Posted by: XXX | 2010/12/04

If i may ask, what made u depressed in first place? was it the cicumstances and enviroment u in or is it something u cant explain. If u cant explain why u feel like that u HAVE to go to psychiatrist and be put on medication. I suffered from depression for over a decade, was anxious all the time, had horrible panic attacks but i kept it inside and controlled it sumehow. My body eventually gave up few months ago and it was either death or seek help..went to psychiatrist..been on different types of highest dose of medication every month and it still not helping...started using drugs because it made me numb and gave me a feel of being " normal"  but only for a while..i still use 3rd weekend now and i kno that because I''m at this state I will eventually get addicted and have even more problems...i wish i have never tried at the state im in because im on the path of self destruction...will see my psychiatrist and tell him everything and tell him how desperate im becoming....getting to the point...don''t wait too long as it will be a very hard and long recovery....I know how u feel about being judged..but depression is a disease that can kill u and u cant just live like that for the rest of your life..Imagine having flu for the rest of your life...I did lose some friends but also found who my true friends are and even people at work show a lot of support. I wish u all the luck and pls dont wait too long..talk to ur family or find articles online that they can read that explain how u feel..I had to do that with my mom because she didnt understand but now she does.

Reply to XXX
Posted by: cybershrink | 2010/12/04

In any family, maybe a bit more in some cultures, the focus on "what will other's think" can take annoying precedence over a more efficiant care for the individual who doesn't feel well. DO, please, see a good local psychiarist for a proper assessment and a discussion of your treatment options - depression and anxiety often go together, and both respond well to treatment, both by medication and by CBT-style counselling, so there's no need to continue suffering without effective relief.

Reply to cybershrink
Posted by: Americano | 2010/12/02

Alright, first leave the drugs alone for at least a month. Drugs are fun everyone who has enjoyed them knows this but they can enhance all of your emotions and make things worse. Also dont drink alcohol, that will depress you hey that may be the main thing, maybe all these things that concern you have been made worse because you have been drinking and thinking too much while your drinking.

No one is going to disown you. Anyone who does doesnt deserve you. You need to take a number of steps back from the whole situation and see that its not as big as you have made it out to be. Shame, fame its all the same game, everyone is vunerable, no one is perfect everyone makes mistakes thats how you learn and the only most important lesson is about ourselves. Learning about who you are. How will you ever learn if you dont make mistakes?

Sleeplessness is a big red flag, you need to work on it and make sure you get back to sleeping ok. Try having some warm milk and calm yourself a few hours before you sleep.

You almost lost your mind and slept with a stranger, well dont worry about it trust me most of the highly esteemed people in the world have both lost their minds and slept with many strangers, and most of them never got their minds back regardless of the stranger they slept with, but they are still esteemed. And if your worried about your friends then you need to seriously think whether they are your friends, theres a major trust question here. I am pretty sure that they would not want to hurt you or shame you or bring dishonour to your family.

Remember it cant be as bad as you think it is.

Reply to Americano
Posted by: anon | 2010/12/02

I have been praying and yes the alcohol has happened often but the drugs only the past weekend first time, it is because of something it made me do that i am scared i lost control of my mind at that point and almost had sex with a stranger, i am embarrased as my friends were there and will create storys that will spread to the community and then to my parents ears, they will not hear reason but because of reputation and honour will disown me, I have not been the same and just thinking about makes me feel that i cannot make it. I know this is confusing but i dont know what to do.

Reply to anon
Posted by: Americano | 2010/12/02

Firstly, your not alone. Maybe you should see a therapist or counsellor, or a religious leader? Try and stay off the alcohol and drugs they wont help in the long run and you will see after a few days an immediate lift in your mood.

Dont feel guilty about whatever you did, remember if your down or depressed then it makes your guilt much worse, we all make mistakes no ones innocent pray and ask God about it he wont condemn you!

Reply to Americano

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