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Question
Posted by: Liya | 2010/09/07

depressed mother and child

HI Cs

I have been unemployed some months now. We are struggling at home, me and my 7 yr old, I cannot buy certain things as before and the contents of her school lunchbox are less. She asks me why I am not working and it''s so hard to explain. UIF has helped us a bit but we are struggling. In the past two weeks she has started hitting herself and says no one likes her and that she is not as good as others. She also has more bad dreams than usual and says she sees bad images in her head when trying to fall asleep, at times it has delayed her bedtime by two hours then she is exhausted and sleep deprived going to school. She also soils her panties a bit more than usual.

I am so worried, is she picking up on my own depression? I cry a lot, tho not in front of her. I feel forgotten by the world, as if I do not matter. I feel invisible, at my worst I feel invisible even to God, which surely cannot be true. So many requests and petitions for help...seemingly to no avail.

When I go to pick her from school I try to be cheerful and when we get home I cuddle and play with her a lot...yet maybe she is still picking up on my hurting soul.

I cannot afford to pay for counselling, I think she may need a child psychologist. I have no job, where could I get this for free, perhaps for myself too? We are just so sad both of us and I feel miserable I cannot give her the life I want to, and used to be able to.


thank you

Liya

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

From your description, she is showing typical signs of general, non-specific distress. This might relate in part to your own depression and stress. I wish I knew of good resources for free counselling. FAMSA might be able to advice, maybe even Childline.
And be more forgiving of yourself - you are giving your child the priceless treasure of a life with a loving and caring mother - something many kids, including some very rich ones, don't get and can't buy

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

4
Our users say:
Posted by: Liya | 2010/09/07

thank you, all three responses are so helpful. I feel there is hope yet and I will take the advice given.

I feel better knowing that perfect strangers care about my situation.

thank you

Liya

Reply to Liya
Posted by: mpho | 2010/09/07

oh my sister, i feel you - it''s really tough out there! you should try applying for a grant for your baby and maybe register with employment agencies and just Pray, God will never forsaken you - i''m a living testimony!

Reply to mpho
Posted by: Maria | 2010/09/07

Hi Liya. Your daughter is definitely responding to your situation. Google BADISA and FAMSA to find their offices local to your area, they might be able to help you.

Reply to Maria
Posted by: cybershrink | 2010/09/07

From your description, she is showing typical signs of general, non-specific distress. This might relate in part to your own depression and stress. I wish I knew of good resources for free counselling. FAMSA might be able to advice, maybe even Childline.
And be more forgiving of yourself - you are giving your child the priceless treasure of a life with a loving and caring mother - something many kids, including some very rich ones, don't get and can't buy

Reply to cybershrink

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