Our expert says:
Its remarkable what you have been able to sort out for them so far, and in a reasonably short amount of time, too. Obviously it would be useful for your mother to have her depression properly diagnosed and treated. Maybe if she saw an understanding doctor / GP for whatever physical problems still trouble her ( such as the CHF ) she could be persuaded to take an antidepressant as part of that plan, and indeed proper treatment of the depression would probably be good for her heart, too.
Know, and remind herself, that you absolutely did NOT do wrong, and in her frame of mind anything you might have done, including nothing, would have been grounds for grumbling. Some older folks actually take on grumbling as a hobby and actually enjoy it, though they'd never admit it.
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