Our expert says:
If there is any risk at all of overdose, have someone else keep your meds for you, whether at home or out, and only to let you have what you need for meach day. And see your shrink again urgently, if you are still untable and suicidal despite the treatment - it may need to be altered.
Nowadays doctors seem to get sloppy. They should ALWAYS appoint a locum to turn to in emergency whenever they're away for more than a day or two.
And it really sounds as though you need to seriously look for a different job, as in the present one you seem locked into your obsessions about these clients and that colleague, and unwilling to change that.
Its unfair ( to everyone ) to say you cannot think of any other way to respond to this annoying burke other than thoughts of suicide - for Pete's sake, woman - you can choose to ignore him and stop taking all this more seriously than it deserves to be taken.
Don't even fantasize about suicide as a way of shcoking people - they won't think anything more of you, and will probably be angry if you did it. It will NEVER convince them that you are right.
It hasn;'t sounded as though your manager really understands or is managing the situation well, but harming yourself will never convince her or anyone else.
Why assume you would be given a place in heaven with a telescope to watch with satisfaction what happens back here ? Where was that guaranteed ?
And you should be treated properly by a good psychiatrist and Not merely a GP
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