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Question
Posted by: Marian | 2011/09/29

Depressed for no good reason

Hi, I feel very depressed. It is so dfficult to explain how I feel. I am not at home now, I''m in another city, so I don''t have access to all my medication to overdose, otherwise I probably would have. I saw my pshycologist last week and she did not seem to think it was very serious. when I phoned this afternoon, my Pshyciatrist is away until the 4th. To someone outside the situation it would look so petty, but I feel so mistreated. This problem with my colleague has been coming along for the past 6 months now, and I have been fighting all the way to earn the respect of the client. But he is so underhanded. I can''t explain more, and I don''t think it will help, but I think I''ve reached the end. I can''t work with him any longer and I can''t be taken off the project, because there is nothing else for me to do. I just want to say: take the project, its yours, you wanted it from the beginning. So that I can stop fighting for my rightful place in the company. \i know I shouldn''t make hasty decisions. On the one hand I just want to shock people - just walk out of there and find another job. Or commit suicide, then they will realise how badly they have treated me. I put in a days leave on Monday because my sister is coming for the weekend, but my manager set 3 deadlines for Monday. How can I take leave and sit next to the pool, knowing the work has to be in my COB. And it''s not like I can do it tomorrow, because I''m not in the office. And its not work I can do over the weekend. So, I cancelled my leave. They have no idea how much work I have put into this project to get it where it is today. I wish I can sit in heaven and look down on them while they are trying to figure out how everything works. The hotel would be the perfect place for a suicide, but unfortunately I am not equipped to do it. And if I fail I just make more problems for myself. Nobody is taking me seriously. I wish they knew how desperate I was. And I can''t just go to the GP for antidepressants, I''ve been on them all, they cause contraction of my neckmuscles (twitches). I''m bipolar and only on moodstabilizers. I don''t know what to do.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

If there is any risk at all of overdose, have someone else keep your meds for you, whether at home or out, and only to let you have what you need for meach day. And see your shrink again urgently, if you are still untable and suicidal despite the treatment - it may need to be altered.
Nowadays doctors seem to get sloppy. They should ALWAYS appoint a locum to turn to in emergency whenever they're away for more than a day or two.
And it really sounds as though you need to seriously look for a different job, as in the present one you seem locked into your obsessions about these clients and that colleague, and unwilling to change that.
Its unfair ( to everyone ) to say you cannot think of any other way to respond to this annoying burke other than thoughts of suicide - for Pete's sake, woman - you can choose to ignore him and stop taking all this more seriously than it deserves to be taken.
Don't even fantasize about suicide as a way of shcoking people - they won't think anything more of you, and will probably be angry if you did it. It will NEVER convince them that you are right.
It hasn;'t sounded as though your manager really understands or is managing the situation well, but harming yourself will never convince her or anyone else.
Why assume you would be given a place in heaven with a telescope to watch with satisfaction what happens back here ? Where was that guaranteed ?
And you should be treated properly by a good psychiatrist and Not merely a GP

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

6
Our users say:
Posted by: Regular | 2011/10/03

Hi Miss B
l do not think your reply was very helpful,we understand Controlfreaks mental illness well but even CS is at the end of his tether in giving advice. Insulting others by calling them spiteful is hardly a kindl response on a mental health forum! Sharing your own suicidal stories does not help the tough love stance CS is advocating. She needs reasonable responses to her situation not posts that make her feel her behaviour is normal or acceptable.
She has been advised to look for a new job and not obsess about a situation that is very common in the work place
Hopefully she has sought phychiaric help as CS said to and we look forward to an update from her..........

Reply to Regular
Posted by: MissB | 2011/10/03

Wow.. all the readers comments are so spitefull.
i have never seen people who dont understand Depression more than you bunch
Yes she does need tough love right now, im sorry hunny but killing yourself does only prove to those that are pissing you off that they are right and not you.
it shows them that you are weak.
but here''s the thing... we are all weak.
i suffer from depression too and was told i may be bi-polar...i have good days and bad days, i had a bad day yesterday, i grabbed my BF''s belt and locked myself in the bathroom with all the good intentions of killing myself..but then i had a moment of clarity.. what was i trying to prove? and to whom?
would i be more loved if i died? i highly doubt it..because in any case i''ll be dead and it wont matter anymore.
will it solve my current situation? maybe, it will certainly end.. but i wouldnt be able to have a happy ending because i wont be here to enjoy it as i''ll be dead...so then.. i said to myself...what''s the point?
what''s the point in thinking that dieing is the only solution? we allow other to get to us until we prove them right by giving in to their insanity... shouldnt we laugh at them for their stupidity rather than let them attack our sensibility?
shouldnt we be strong and take things to a higher level and prove to ourselves that we are better than their perception of us?
i think we should...and i certainly think that the dip shit pissing on your batteries (excuse my language) doesn''t not deserve you to feel sorry for yourself...he/she does not deserve to see and know that their tyrany over you is indeed chipping away at your sanity.
yo are worth fighting for, as a woman, as a human being and as an emotional being.
you deserve to have selfworth. dont let anybody tell you otherwise.
be stong for yourself and no one else.

Reply to MissB
Posted by: Asking | 2011/09/30

Depressed for no good reason isnt that the nature of bi polar?Next youll be posting happy for no good reason!

Reply to Asking
Posted by: Well wisher | 2011/09/30

Hi Control Freak - refer your post 865
When CS says for Petes sake l think he is slightly frustrated, as he says you are overly obsessed with this situation.And l think he is telling you off for threatening suicide which he rightly says is unfair to everyone.Please listen to this intelligent worldy wise man.
You told us a happy story(post 865) in that you have brought business to SA but also in imply the industry is dodgy???????why stay in this job! Your manager has not been able to solve this situation - if you truly belive you are wronged the next step is the CCMA.
As you are looking for a solution and it has been given by CS ,as in looking for alternative employment, l think you are well on your way to getting way from this problem. lt is time to stop complaining and threatening and up date your CV. l wish you all the very best.

Reply to Well wisher
Posted by: Anon | 2011/09/30

You aren''t by any chance ControlFreak, are you?

Reply to Anon
Posted by: cybershrink | 2011/09/30

If there is any risk at all of overdose, have someone else keep your meds for you, whether at home or out, and only to let you have what you need for meach day. And see your shrink again urgently, if you are still untable and suicidal despite the treatment - it may need to be altered.
Nowadays doctors seem to get sloppy. They should ALWAYS appoint a locum to turn to in emergency whenever they're away for more than a day or two.
And it really sounds as though you need to seriously look for a different job, as in the present one you seem locked into your obsessions about these clients and that colleague, and unwilling to change that.
Its unfair ( to everyone ) to say you cannot think of any other way to respond to this annoying burke other than thoughts of suicide - for Pete's sake, woman - you can choose to ignore him and stop taking all this more seriously than it deserves to be taken.
Don't even fantasize about suicide as a way of shcoking people - they won't think anything more of you, and will probably be angry if you did it. It will NEVER convince them that you are right.
It hasn;'t sounded as though your manager really understands or is managing the situation well, but harming yourself will never convince her or anyone else.
Why assume you would be given a place in heaven with a telescope to watch with satisfaction what happens back here ? Where was that guaranteed ?
And you should be treated properly by a good psychiatrist and Not merely a GP

Reply to cybershrink

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