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Question
Posted by: Lilly | 2010-07-26

depressed and scared

i am married with two beautifull healthy kids, but i''m stuck in a marriage i don''t wanna be in, but am to scared to leave.
i love my husband very much, but he is so jealous. everyday i need to tell him to what man a spoke to for the whole day, and if i did soeak to a man or he sees me speak to a man he is abusing me emotionally, that i feel like cracking. he never abused me physically YET... but he is treating me like a piece of crap. everything i do is what pleases him. what i wear is what pleases him. i feel so helpless, because he keeps threatening me of what he''ll do to me.. i cant even wash my hair during the week then it''s a problem. if my blouse is too short then i''m a slut.. i''m not allowd to speak to any man, about anything. when i''m perfect, my marraige is perfect. i cant live like this. i wanna be free. wear what it want to... i have to wear big clothes with long shirts. it makes me feel slobby. im so scared. even to go home, because he has this way of making me feel guilty, although i know i did nothing wrong. the problem is i have know where to go to and i''m stayinf for the sake of my two kids, but i am so unhappy, because i know this marraige is on its way to nowhere.. everything i do is beacuase i have to...

thanks for reading. i know now one can help me.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

There is such a thing ( and this sounds like it ) as Pathological Jealousy, often based on such factors as a person having such a low opinion of themselves that they assume nobody would want to be faithful to them .
Also, you are indeed describing an emotionally abusive relationship. It is mistaken for anyone to stay in an abusive relatonship "for the sake of the kids" as it is NOT good for kids to grow up in an abusive household, full of threats, abuse and tension.
Fortunately it is NOT true that "no-one" can help you. Help is indeed available. There are, for instance, organizations like POWA which pecialize in helping abused women to plan a safe escape, wih their children, from abusive situations, and they should also offer counselling and support.
Similarly, various social services should be able to help. A court can give you a protection order when you leave, foprbidding him to contact or threaten you, and he would go to jail if he ignored such an order. It is possible for you to be safer and happer, together with your children. Maybe eventually on his own he would recognize his need for treatment and begin to lose his excessive jealousy, though this is uncommon

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

2
Our users say:
Posted by: Woman | 2010-07-27

Kids would rather come from a broken home than live in one. What example are you setting your children? Do you want the same kind of relationship for them one day? Call POWA and get the help you need. You a re stronger than you think. A woman can do anything for her kids - even leave a man she loves. Your kids come first. Always!!

Reply to Woman
Posted by: cybershrink | 2010-07-26

There is such a thing ( and this sounds like it ) as Pathological Jealousy, often based on such factors as a person having such a low opinion of themselves that they assume nobody would want to be faithful to them .
Also, you are indeed describing an emotionally abusive relationship. It is mistaken for anyone to stay in an abusive relatonship "for the sake of the kids" as it is NOT good for kids to grow up in an abusive household, full of threats, abuse and tension.
Fortunately it is NOT true that "no-one" can help you. Help is indeed available. There are, for instance, organizations like POWA which pecialize in helping abused women to plan a safe escape, wih their children, from abusive situations, and they should also offer counselling and support.
Similarly, various social services should be able to help. A court can give you a protection order when you leave, foprbidding him to contact or threaten you, and he would go to jail if he ignored such an order. It is possible for you to be safer and happer, together with your children. Maybe eventually on his own he would recognize his need for treatment and begin to lose his excessive jealousy, though this is uncommon

Reply to cybershrink

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