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Question
Posted by: KIM | 2011/01/24

depressed

hi iv just got out of a 4 year relationship my ex was agressive and hit me then broke up with me making me feel its all my fault and that i cant live with out him, i know i should want rid of someone like that but its not the case i miss him so much and hate waking up im trying very hard but its all easier said then done. what should i do i feel hopeless and i just want to give up on everything in my life now. thanks

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Making you feel like it's all your fault is a typical technique of the abuser - do not believe it or accept this additional insult. If you do, it'll last longer than the physical bruises. What, actually, do you miss ? Surely not the abuse and the consistent lack of respect for you ? Isn't it more that you miss the guy you THOUGHT he was, the man you HOPED he might becopme ? And you're reluctant to admit that he wasn't and won't be.
Give up, permanently on him, and on any hopes that he might eventually become a good man. ANd accept, permanently all the interesting and good possibilities that will now open up for you. You may be feeling insecure about actually being free, after not being free for so long. See a good local counsellor, and work to strengthen your self-esteem and make good plans for the future.

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

3
Our users say:
Posted by: Romany | 2011/01/25

Hi Kim

Good riddance to bad rubbish !!

Well done. Move on girl. Find someone that appreciates you.

Reply to Romany
Posted by: Katia | 2011/01/24

Please dont give up. All men wants you to feel like its your fault. you can do better. give it time.

Reply to Katia
Posted by: cybershrink | 2011/01/24

Making you feel like it's all your fault is a typical technique of the abuser - do not believe it or accept this additional insult. If you do, it'll last longer than the physical bruises. What, actually, do you miss ? Surely not the abuse and the consistent lack of respect for you ? Isn't it more that you miss the guy you THOUGHT he was, the man you HOPED he might becopme ? And you're reluctant to admit that he wasn't and won't be.
Give up, permanently on him, and on any hopes that he might eventually become a good man. ANd accept, permanently all the interesting and good possibilities that will now open up for you. You may be feeling insecure about actually being free, after not being free for so long. See a good local counsellor, and work to strengthen your self-esteem and make good plans for the future.

Reply to cybershrink

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