Our expert says:
There is no point, as you wil have realized, in trying to live one's life backwards - or trying to re-live it to correct mistakes. What one can most usefully do, though, is to learn from whatever mistakes we have made ( and ALL of us have made them ) so as not to repeat them, and to make much better and more fruitful mistakes in the future.
You don't have to continue doing whatever you have been doing over the years which doesn't contribute to your well-being and that of others.
It sounds as though you have developed a depression, which skews your view of the world in a negative way, but which responds well to proper treatemtn, with meds and/or therapy / counselling, especially of the CBT form. CBT also is particular good at identifying your negative habits of thought and behaviour, and help[ing you to change them fruitfully.
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