advertisement
Question
Posted by: Phira | 2010/02/11

Depressed

I was born with I disorder which I think its ' club foot'  my mom never loved me as her child and I was different to other kids, so i was being discriminated basically, they were calling me names, wel that all passed away that didn' t make my life difficult, but from 2004 i was in car accident and my mom was so supportive! Now my problem with my health status, I' m suffering from arthritis,club foot, ears,eyes, ulcer, kidneys etc. They doc told me 2 see psychologist, but I feel like there' s nothing he can change from me, all i want is my health back and justice 2 be done to that taxi driver. I' m tired, but psychologist is not an answer! Coz that man is stil out there driving taxi, but there' s nothing i can do, but I' m so angry with the world coz people treat me like I asked for this disorder and My government never protected me at all. Say something!

Not what you were looking for? Try searching again, or ask your own question
Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Hi Phira,
It can be difficult having any sort of anomaly that makes one feel "different" and other kids can be so cruel - often they feel pleased if you provide a more obvious target, so they themselves can feel safe.
In your current situation, a psychologist, using CBT, could help you to handle your present problems and disabilities in a better manner. Its not about wishy-washy "forgiveness" ( which is usually preached by those who have never suffered any significant injustice needing to be forgiven ) - but about avoiding useles anger than damages you more than the bad guys, and finding more constructive and fruitful ways of using the anger.

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

2
Our users say:
Posted by: Purple | 2010/02/12

I think the psychologist was recommended so that you can deal with your anger and constantly blaming other people.

You give no reason why you say your mother never loved you, and you say she supported you later on in life.

Why should the government have protected you? A government is there to run the administration of a country, which yes, does include a police force but they can' t be everywhere all at once. I know people complain a lot about our police, but personally, almost all my interactions have been very good, and the two where they werent it was due to the individual and not a system problem.

I think that wanting justice to be done is quite normal, but the psychologist can help you deal with the fact that justice can' t always be done, and even when it is, it doesn' t actually change anysthing.

The way people treat us is often a reflection of what we give out to other people. Are people not offish to you because you are sour and difficult and not because you have a disability? Strangers always smile at me (All the time, wherever I go), and one day I asked my husband if I was dressed funny because peole were looking at me and smiling and nearly laughing. He pointed out that I have a permanent grin on my face and that on that day I looked like I was about to burst into laughter about some secret joke. I stopped thinking my skirt was accidentally tucked into my pants and people were just too embarassed to tell me and now I no longer worry when complete strangers smile at me - I realise they' re just returning my smile (which I' m not always aware I' m giving - but as I now have permanent smile wrinkles around my mouth, I have come to accept that I do have a " permasmile" .

Yes, that man is still out there driving a taxi - and there are murderers and rapists who haven' t been caught and there are people who drive with their children not strapped into child restraints, and people who don' t pay their domestic workers UIF, and companies who don' t treat their employees well.
You are right, a psychologist can' t help you or anyone else solve these problems, but what they can do is help you to come to terms with your disability and your anger with the world and your feeling of the world owing you something. You seem to have quite a teenage attitude towards life, but I' m assuming from the rest of your letter that you are actually an adult.
Many of the problems you mention are unrelated to your accident anyway.
An ulcer is somtimes caused by bacteria and sometimes by aspirin and sometimes by stress.
Your club foot you were born with - as were many other people - it' s not that uncommon.

Reply to Purple
Posted by: cybershrink | 2010/02/12

Hi Phira,
It can be difficult having any sort of anomaly that makes one feel "different" and other kids can be so cruel - often they feel pleased if you provide a more obvious target, so they themselves can feel safe.
In your current situation, a psychologist, using CBT, could help you to handle your present problems and disabilities in a better manner. Its not about wishy-washy "forgiveness" ( which is usually preached by those who have never suffered any significant injustice needing to be forgiven ) - but about avoiding useles anger than damages you more than the bad guys, and finding more constructive and fruitful ways of using the anger.

Reply to cybershrink

Have your say

Thanks for commenting! Your comment will appear on the site shortly.
Thanks for commenting! Your comment will appear on the site shortly.
advertisement