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Posted by: manly depressed | 2009/03/09

Depressed

It sounds a bit strange but i am a man depressed about a woman that left me a few months ago.Yes there is plenty fish i the see and bla bla bla.I have heard it all before.She needed space was the reason.I mean i am a guy who would marry this girl 2morrow if we can.So i dont have any commitment issues.We had our fair share of trouble but nothing mayor.Maybe she is just not that in to me.But i am thinking of her the whole day.And its killing me to think she might be seeing someone else by now.Normally its the woman feeling this crap after a breakup.Why do i feeli like this and she is going on as if NOTHING ever happened?I did not texted her contact her for 2 weeks now.And i have not heard from her either.I am having it very difficult at the moment.How do i handle this.I really want her back but not sure how to approach it!What to say and what not.Can someone please give me some advice?

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Our expert says:
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Are you Depressed ? ( there are criteria to diagnose this severe illness ) Or are you depressed / sad / blue, about a disappointment in life ? Men and women can feel this lousy after the breakup of a relationship that meant a lot to them ( even if it didn't mean as much to the other person ). Seeing a counsellor might help you to sort out these mixed-up feelings. There's a wise old saying about letting go of the other person in this sort of situation. If she comes back to you, that is meaningful ; if she doesn't come back to you, she wasn't going to be yours anyway, hen just let go and move on.

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

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Our users say:
Posted by: Rick | 2009/03/10

Karma always has a way of working its way around...just dont let it catch you!

Reply to Rick
Posted by: Manly depressed | 2009/03/10

Thanks so much for the advice...Good the get some GOOD advice which i will try to take. It will probably take some time but i am sure i will get over it EVENTUALLY.I should not waste my time and energy on someone that its not worth it!!!!Hopefully she' ll get some of her own medicine back some day.

Reply to Manly depressed
Posted by: Yeah !! | 2009/03/10

Rick is dead right. What you have to realise is that just because you loved her with all your heart, she did not love you pal. Ouch, sorry that really does hurt, but the hard real truth always does. You are right when you suspect that she was not into you, no fault of your own, just that she wanted someone or something else. The trick is to face it down. Tell yourself that she did not love you, abused your love and attention, basically kicked you in the goolies and laughed as she walked away. Keep that picture in your mind whenever you think about her. Do not ever, ever contact her, no matter what. When they want space, give them eternity and let them keep going. Maybe she will be as happy as can be and for that wish her well, but you can and will never be part of her life. Just accept it. Keep strong, look forward.

Reply to Yeah !!
Posted by: manly depressed | 2009/03/09

I know thats what a normal man would do.Just go out and get laid. I will feel way to guilty!!! But thanks for not critising me.Being so depressed over a woman may look very weak i know.I just felt she was the one.And yes i am feeling like i am getting obsessed and that is not the type of person i am.Ill try and not contact her and see what happens.Many thanks!!

Reply to manly depressed
Posted by: Rick | 2009/03/09

Hi Depressed.

I know exactly how you feel. Im divorced for 3 months, so Im well qualified to tell you that I know exactly how you feel.

What you have to understand is that both people hurt in a break up if there was a meaningfull relationship between the two of you. Pain, grief and loss willl be experienced. You are feeling crap because in some way your hearts were joined when you got together and now that you have split, your heart has torn, that is the pain you feel. Depending on the depth and length of the relationship will be the corresponding pain you felt. if she cheated on you, then the pain is worse.


Dont obsess about what she is doing now. I had that problem with my ex wife and it was tough. but I realised that nothing she did now was my responsibility or problem anymore. She has her own life now and so do I.

Give your ex girlfriend the right to have her own life now, without you. Life does move on and you will get someone else and then your ex can worry about you then with someone else.

Just remember that by looking into the past we cant move forward. Let your ex go, and find someone who wants to be with YOU.

Keep no-contact, and dont break it. Keep your respect and dignity for yourself

Good luck

Reply to Rick
Posted by: hopefloats | 2009/03/09

give it time, see what happens maybe she' ll come crawling back, otherwise just forget about her... you dont want to get all obsessed over a woman its just not healthy... go out and get laid..that will help

Reply to hopefloats
Posted by: Marthur | 2009/03/09

Try not to contact her... it is hard, I know, but she clearly doesn' t want to be with you.
It doesn' t matter what you say or how you approach her... it will not change anything.

I am sooooo sorry.

How long were you together for?

Reply to Marthur
Posted by: Marthur | 2009/03/09

Try not to contact her... it is hard, I know, but she clearly doesn' t want to be with you.
It doesn' t matter what you say or how you approach her... it will not change anything.

I am sooooo sorry.

How long were you together for?

Reply to Marthur

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