Our expert says:
I wonder whether there is some sort of state Social Worker who could look at your situation and recognizxe, for instance, that if your pay is partly spent on caring for your mother, your effective personal pay is less than stated.
Its hard to see how your ex should remain a problem for you. It's unfortunate if he is unemployed, but he really needs to care for himself, with the aid perhaps of his family, rather than being a burden on you.
And your mother may need a quiet talk to remind her that IF she chooses to live with you, and at your expense, she should be grateful and not grating.
You need to find some source of counselling and advice and support ( check SADAG, for instyamnce, nomner on this page ) and even Lifeline ( ditto ). Antidepressants, I agree, are usually not a solution in this sort of situation, where there are good reasons for feeling unhappy, rather than depressed.
I don't know what the physical illness(s) are you refer to in passing, but obviously they need to be taken into account.
I don't understand how the "state places" currently ases ones needs and ability to pay, but they HAVE to look at more than just a paycheck, and take into account other expenses like healthcare and dependents. If they make allowance for someone who has perhaps chosen to be a single mother, for the costs of caring for her children, they should also be sympathetic about someone who is looking after an elderly and needy relative.
Anyone else have some useful suggestions here ?
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