Our expert says:
Its not about going crazy.
Losing someone who you are dearly fond of MUST be upsetting and requires major re-adjustments and grief work. All the more so when you were more unsettingly involved, in finding him, trying to resuscitate him, and finding this to be impossible. Then to have all the burden of the arrangements, etc., fall on you as well. This is a typical basis for a difficult and complex bereavement and depression.
This sort of depression and anxiety is not surprising, and fortunately can respond really well to treatment. And one can understand that even though the rest of your loved ones are not actually more at risk than before, you feel as though they are, and as though you need to stick by them to try to protect them. And though clearly it was impossible for you or anyone else to have saved your grandfather, you probably feel guilty, as though there were, and you may well unfairly blame yourself about this.
The best would be for you to see a good local psychologist for a thorough assessment and advice. The clear psychological aspects of your situation need and will respond well to skilled psychotherapy. The psychologist will also be able to check whether in addition to this complex bereavement ( which in itself does not usually respond well to drugs ), there may also now be a degree of depression / anxiety, which might also benefit from the use of medications
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