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Question
Posted by: Kelly | 2009/11/02

Demon Child

Hi Cs
Well it just so happens that we had a huge argument about this little demon this weekend.
We were going shopping and he decided to surprise me by bringing her along.
Well she was looking all sweet and smiling and I have to say when she is at my place she is an angel but knowing what she truly is like makes me not want anything to do with her at all even when she is good.
I was totally put off when I saw she was with and changed my mind about going anywhere, I said I didn’ t feel like anything as I wasn’ t feeling well.
Anyways they stayed and had lunch and he took her home afterwards and came back.
Then he confronted me about not wanting to go because she was with.
I said that’ s true, I don’ t want to go anywhere with her because she is ‘ naughty’  and then he said ‘  but she’ s so sweet!’  how dare I say she’ s naughty.
Then I asked him how sweet she is at home and he said ‘ but that’ s only when her mothers around.
Its not only when her mothers around, with her grandparents, aunts, cousins but at home.
He says he would never take her anywhere with him if she was naughty.
Then he told me I’ m acting like a bitch and she is only a child … 
I ended up telling him she is a rude little brat that lacks discipline and I’ m going to feel sorry for them when she grows up.
I told him that I do not have to be put up with other people kids if I did not have to and esp. if they were like her.
If they can behave then I do not mind at all. Needless to day he is upset with me and we have not spoken since Sat.
He also said that if she was naughty I should scold her and she would listen and I told him, she’ s not my child I can’ t just scold her.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

I don't understand - she is his NIECE, no his daughter -why is he so desperate to inflict her on you ?
Anyhow, if the brat is with you and misbehaves, you are entirely free to discipline her, at least verbally, and to expect her to obey and behave or go home.
But the extent of his devotion to this litle girl sounds way out of normal proportions, and seems more important to him than his relationship with you, which is really odd.
Either consider this relationship doomed, or get him with you into couples counselling

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3
Our users say:
Posted by: Wise Owl | 2009/11/02

Ooooo yes ! There is someone that needs some skin removed from their behind ! Lady, its all about CONTROL. She wants to control the situation and she is playing her father like a violin and he is too stupid to realise it. He THINKS she loves him and he THINKS she reckons he is the best Dad ever, meanwhile she sees him as a sucker and an idiot that he is. She is a manipulagtor of note. Without respect there cannot be love. The one follows the other. If you discipline the brat for bad behavior he must understand that he must support your decision. If he is weird about it, then leave him or you will suffer for it as long as your relationship lasts.

Reply to Wise Owl
Posted by: Leez | 2009/11/02

Been following your posts. Empathise with you gal. Hubby' s nephew (5) very much the same. Luckily my hubby shares my feelings. He maintains the kid' s wayyy too spoilt and rude and needs a good ol'  fashioned spanking. His dad actually doesn' t take cr*p from him, but his idiot mom will always end up arguing with the dad for " hitting him too hard" . We have two girls of our own and even they cannot stand being around this kid. Infact, I can count on my one hand the amount of people who actually find him " cute" . Now the mother' s pregnant (!!), maybe the brat will change for the better, ony time will tell...

Reply to Leez
Posted by: cybershrink | 2009/11/02

I don't understand - she is his NIECE, no his daughter -why is he so desperate to inflict her on you ?
Anyhow, if the brat is with you and misbehaves, you are entirely free to discipline her, at least verbally, and to expect her to obey and behave or go home.
But the extent of his devotion to this litle girl sounds way out of normal proportions, and seems more important to him than his relationship with you, which is really odd.
Either consider this relationship doomed, or get him with you into couples counselling

Reply to cybershrink

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