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Question
Posted by: anon | 2011/08/02

delaying going....

Hi,
I posted the following post to the sexologist as I wasn''t sure if that was the right forum to post this question. She suggested I see a psychologist. I have a problem that is getting worse. I don''''t know why but I try to avoid going to the toilet for as long as I can. I hate going to the toilet or bathroom as I don''''t want to have to touch me (although there are times when feelings build up and I am forced to masturbate). I don''''t like masturbating but it is the only way I can get rid of whatever feeelings I have. Masturbating doesnt do much for me unless I start thinking of my uncle and fantasizing about me raping him! I am grossed out as I am writing this but I need some kind of help. My uncle used to fondle me when i was about 8 or 9. He never raped me but now I have fantasies wishing he did as I feel "  rejected."  Why didnt he go all the way? I feel as if I am the one at fault. Are you able to say why i wait until the last minute to use the toilet? I am 40 and have never been intimate with anyone besides my uncle. Can you give any advice

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

It would be worth seeing a psychologist for a full assessment of this odd and unhealthy behaviour, and Cognitive-Behaviour Therapy ( CBT - style counselling ) might be able to help you give up this very unhelpful set of habits concerning going to the toilet ( which could be really unhealthy ) . This could also deal with your unwelcome fantasies about your uncle, which fi with ways in which some people react to childhood sexual abuse ( and apparently you were indeed abused by him ). He was selfish and entirely to blame for what happened, and even more so for leaving you unfairly blaming yourself. Its common for such ugly experiences to lead to guilt, self-blame, and disturbed reactions to your own body and your sexuality - but a skilled psychologist could help you to overcome this and to set yourself free from the damage he caused.

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

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Our users say:
Posted by: cybershrink | 2011/08/02

It would be worth seeing a psychologist for a full assessment of this odd and unhealthy behaviour, and Cognitive-Behaviour Therapy ( CBT - style counselling ) might be able to help you give up this very unhelpful set of habits concerning going to the toilet ( which could be really unhealthy ) . This could also deal with your unwelcome fantasies about your uncle, which fi with ways in which some people react to childhood sexual abuse ( and apparently you were indeed abused by him ). He was selfish and entirely to blame for what happened, and even more so for leaving you unfairly blaming yourself. Its common for such ugly experiences to lead to guilt, self-blame, and disturbed reactions to your own body and your sexuality - but a skilled psychologist could help you to overcome this and to set yourself free from the damage he caused.

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