Our expert says:
It would be worth seeing a psychologist for a full assessment of this odd and unhealthy behaviour, and Cognitive-Behaviour Therapy ( CBT - style counselling ) might be able to help you give up this very unhelpful set of habits concerning going to the toilet ( which could be really unhealthy ) . This could also deal with your unwelcome fantasies about your uncle, which fi with ways in which some people react to childhood sexual abuse ( and apparently you were indeed abused by him ). He was selfish and entirely to blame for what happened, and even more so for leaving you unfairly blaming yourself. Its common for such ugly experiences to lead to guilt, self-blame, and disturbed reactions to your own body and your sexuality - but a skilled psychologist could help you to overcome this and to set yourself free from the damage he caused.
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