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Question
Posted by: Ike Mahanke | 2010-07-01

Delayed orgasm

Hi

I am a 27 year old bisexual male living in Johannesburg, I am currently involved with a guy, my Ex was a girl.

I have a problem with reaching orgasm during sex, I can reach orgasm why masturbating but only when I do it rigorously and lying on the bed only in one position.

I grew up being an excessive masturbator but now I have a problem when it comes to sexual inter course as I cannot find a rhythm to assist me with reaching orgasm.
Condoms, alcohol and lube also slow down the process and this is risking my health.

I have read most recommendations about doing it in front of your partner and allowing them to take over. This has not helped and its talking a toll on all my relationships and am reluctant to get into others as this affect the other person severely....

I am desperate for help, am even considering surgery anything to help me please.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageSexologist

There are two possibilities here:
(1) you have become so accustomed to that specific type and intensity of stimulation that anything less is not enough to arouse/excite you. If this rings true for you, then I would suggest that you need to undertake a period of resensitisation by yourself where you relax and focus on what you are feeling as you gently caress your penis. You may discover other types of touch pleasurable - you will of course need to stop masturbating in the other fashion to fully benefit from such resensitisation.
(2) you may be experiencing difficulty with 'letting go' in front of others for one or another psychological reasons - this may be a self-consciousness or anxiety-based experience. If this rings true, then you would need to explore this with a therapist; ideally one experienced in the field of sexual health in order to assist you with both possibilities.

You can locate a therapist by contacting your local GP or contact the SASHA Helpline 0860 100 262 and leave a message.

Claire - SASHA

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

1
Our users say:
Posted by: Sexologist | 2010-07-01

There are two possibilities here:
(1) you have become so accustomed to that specific type and intensity of stimulation that anything less is not enough to arouse/excite you. If this rings true for you, then I would suggest that you need to undertake a period of resensitisation by yourself where you relax and focus on what you are feeling as you gently caress your penis. You may discover other types of touch pleasurable - you will of course need to stop masturbating in the other fashion to fully benefit from such resensitisation.
(2) you may be experiencing difficulty with 'letting go' in front of others for one or another psychological reasons - this may be a self-consciousness or anxiety-based experience. If this rings true, then you would need to explore this with a therapist; ideally one experienced in the field of sexual health in order to assist you with both possibilities.

You can locate a therapist by contacting your local GP or contact the SASHA Helpline 0860 100 262 and leave a message.

Claire - SASHA

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