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Question
Posted by: Sharad | 2008-11-26

Deeply In-Love with my Ex of 7yrs ago

Please help understand. I was once involved with a man, 7yrs ago, I loved him very much. We didn' t break up as such but lost touch due to moving to diffrent cities and becoz of luck of communication, we both moved on, not contacting each other (but we both know where we could find each other if we tried). Now from last month, he has been on my mind and I feel from my heart that I really in love with him and this thing in my heart can' t really go. I am always thinking about him. Everything I do in my day to day life brings back a memory about him and that memory makes me want to contact him. Now my worry is that 7yrs has been too long, maybe he is married and comitted to someone else. Please advise, should I make the first contact? What will he think of me? Is it love am feeling for him or is it just infatuation? Doc, please advise.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

YOu both chose to separate, apparently having no formal or firm committment to each other to break. You stopped contacting each other, rather than losing touch. You could let go of your feelings for him, but it sounds as though you don't want to do so. And you are talking all about how YOU feel --- have you any idea how he feels about you ? Indeed, do you know for sure how he felt about you before you drifted apart ?
Maybe you could make contact with him if you can do so without expecting anything major to happen. If you wait for him to act first, you may wait forever, as it is even possible he has actually forgotten about you, or that he has fully moved on. Sounds a lot like infatuation, and to be more about your fantasies and ideas about what it might be like rather than based in actual reality

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