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Question
Posted by: Frustrated | 2009/07/31

Deeper underlying problem

I have known this person for more than 2 years. We were engaged during this time as well. Unfortunately the relationship did not work out. During our time together and after the breakup I was not able to ask personal questions that related to problems that occured within our relationship. He would avoid the question with a statement " I will not answer as I am avoiding conflict"  by having to answer the question. What I was experiencing with him having this attitude was that any problem within the relationship would go unresolved only to surface again some other time and then get avoided again. Within our relationship he was very finnicky with regard to cleanliness and neatness. He would also spend a lot of time doing work and consuming alcohol to de stress after a hard day at the office. I also work full day and participate in sport which he tried to stop me from participating in. Things always had to be packed away and nothing was allowed to be out of place. Is there a deeper underlying problem within himself or am I being too critical?

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

He does indeed sound as though he has a range of personal problems --- but if you have trul broken up with him, why is this still any concern of yours ?

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Our users say:
Posted by: Frustrated | 2009/07/31

It is a concern as the relationship ended with him being involved with domestic violence towards myself and never apologising for his actions and also saying that I asked to be treated that way.

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