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Question
Posted by: Melissa | 2008/10/15

Decision

I posted a few days ago about the end of my relationship and that I was pregnant again and that I' d decided to abort. I' ve made up my mind and I' ve booked an appointment for this Friday, the only thing is that I' m afraid, I' m afraid something might go wrong, I' m afraid that someone might find out (my parents will kill me, I' ve dissappointed them before) and I' m afraid that I might not be able to live with myself afterwards. I know that I' m making the right decision for me, but emotionally I' m a wreck.

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Our expert says:
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Nobody should EVER be allowed to have an abortion without skilled counselling before and afterwards, so arange to see a good local counsellor as soon as posible, to help you through this difficult period. Do NOT try to do this all alone

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

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Our users say:
Posted by: ANON | 2008/10/16

no need attacing us if the guilt is eating you up from inside, it is a sign that you know you are doing the wrong thing!!! listen to that voice

Reply to ANON
Posted by: Melissa | 2008/10/15

This is why woman today still have so many problems and still dont speak out about certain things because instead of helping each other, we cut each other down, we call each other names, we insult and humilate each other.

I know that this is a open forum but I wanted some advice not critism from you.

I will never post on this forum again.

And tonight when you laying in your nice warm beds, next to your perfect partner under the roof that your perfect children share with you, think about the child that you saw standing at the robots begging for food / money and ask yourself could I not have spent my day / time better today by buying that kid a loaf or could I not have stopped my car and taken that child in instead of sitting there and passing judgment.

Reply to Melissa
Posted by: Hey | 2008/10/15

Why is everything abt " finance" ?When u slept with that man did u not know abt ur finances girl?Do no murder that child pls....s/he did not ask u to go sleep with that useless man,u di it on ur own accord.And u knew very well that he is not there for u so why did u sleep with him?

U will never get to forgive urself after friday.Someone u know very well will give borth on the very same month u were supposed to give birth.And that child will always remind u that ur child would have been this big if u did not kill him/her.

Its gonna haunt u for the rest of ur life.

Reply to Hey
Posted by: Butterfly :( | 2008/10/15

Abortion is the cruelest sin in the world you taking an innocent life..........People around the world are wishing for precious babies &  you carrying a living creation inside you but you doing this why dont consider adoption. I pray to God that he help you make the right decision......

Reply to Butterfly :(
Posted by: anon | 2008/10/15

tired - you are so right, it happened for a reason, and the reason is not to go for an abortion. PLEASE trust God with this and think about it, if all else fails why not consider adoption, but not abortion.... you will have to live with the desision for the rest of your life. if you decide on adoption, you have time to think ans see how things are in the future, maybe thing change for you. GOD is an awasome God, please just trust HIM

Reply to anon
Posted by: Tired | 2008/10/15

Hi Melissa,

I posted something similar to your post yesterday. I am in the exact same position - the only diff is that I don' t realy want to live anymore (but Im sorting that out, i think).
Anyway, I found out yesterday for a fact that I am pregnant. My fiancee said - Go for an abortion - end of the problem. I do, but i don' t. I do because I' m not realy emotionally capable to raise a baby (no excuse i know), financially impossible (seeing that I told my fiancee he is not to come near me ever again) and also it will be dissapointing to my parents bla bla. I am so scared that if I have this abortion, that I will not be able to handle it emotionally. I know that if you realy want to, you can make it work. I was thinking, even if it was by accident that we got pregnant, dont you think it happened for a reason? I mean, its not like the lotto, you strike it lucky, but it was put there by a powerfull God. You see, once you start thinking like this, it get a lot tougher to decide. Just wish I could go for the abortion and erase all memory.

Good luck to you! You are in my thoughts. Do what is best for you, and what you want.

Reply to Tired
Posted by: anon | 2008/10/15

so does life being hard make it better to commit murder... thats what birth control is made for. It takes a step of faith for thing to work out, If she sould just trust GOD for support, He will honour her faith and help her through it, I was 19, my parents and the father did not want anything to do with me because of this, and I made it, I had nothing, no job no support, just faith!!! " ALL THE GLORY TO GOD"  IT TAKES A STEP OF FAITH.....

Reply to anon
Posted by: Kb | 2008/10/15

Anon - im sure if she was financially stable, she would not be doing this. We all know its " murder" , as you put it, but In todays times living i difficult, and a worry. You are lucky, things worked out for you, but for many it does not. How many times do you read of parents taking their lives, and the lives of their kids due to financial stress. Whats more sickening?

Reply to Kb
Posted by: anon | 2008/10/15

abortion is murder, the minute that egg is fertilised, blood is involved, blood symbolises life... so it is a life that you are taking.... would you murder a 1, 2,3 year old child????? then why murder this one he/she did not ask to be here, if you are big enough to do the wild thing, you should be big enough to handle the consequinses. I fell pregnant when I was 19.... everbody told me to go for an abortion, but could not do it... by child is now the biggest blessing in my life... 14 years later!!!!

Reply to anon
Posted by: Leez | 2008/10/15

Just wanted to wish you luck for Friday. Be strong, you sound like a strong-willed and wise person. Some women would have jumped at the chance of being pregnant again just to " hold on"  to the boyfriend.....it' s a no-win situation.

Your son' s lucky to have such a wise mother (wink wink).

Reply to Leez
Posted by: Melissa | 2008/10/15

THANK YOU LADIES, JUST SPEAKING TO YOU HAS HELP ME ALOT. THANK YOU FROM THE BOTTOM OF MY HEART. YOU HAVE REALLY HELPED ME.

THANK YOU

Reply to Melissa
Posted by: Me | 2008/10/15

I pray that you dont regret this decision. I had an abortion when I was 18, for many " good"  reasons, it seemed right at the time to do it, but today, Im 32 and I still think of my baby I aborted, I wish that I had not gone through with it despite the difficulty I would have gone through at the time had I kept the baby. But its also no use bringing an unwanted baby into te world that you wont be able to look after financially and that wil be exposed to the problems of you and your ex, so maybe you are doing the best thing for that unborn child by not letting him/her come into your messed up situation. There are already too many children exposed to bad things as a result of bad decisions we as adults make, so may you find peace in your decision and I pray that your situation improves after youve gone through with this

Reply to Me
Posted by: Melissa | 2008/10/15

My financial situation as well - its hard raising a child on one salary (my ex bf works, gets paid, but is permanetly broke (dont know what he does with his money) and as a result I' ve dipped into my savings so much that I have none left). I' m just not emotionally ready to have this baby after the break up.

Reply to Melissa
Posted by: Soul | 2008/10/15

I understand that.

Besides your parents and your ex is there any other reasons why you don' t want to keep the baby?

Reply to Soul
Posted by: Melissa | 2008/10/15

The father and I broke up, it was not a good relationship and we have a 15 month old son and even though I was in a relationship, you can pretty much say that I was a single parent, he was only a father when it suits him (when things go well). He doesnt know about the second pregnancy because I dont want him to know because he might use it and my decision against me.

Reply to Melissa
Posted by: Soul | 2008/10/15

I understand that it' s hard, I' m a single mom and it' s been tough but i' ve always made it and come through each situation learning something new.

How sure are you about this?
Melissa you can' t do this alone!!!
Where is the babies father, does he know about the baby?
If you don' t mind me asking do you already have a child, how old are you?

Reply to Soul
Posted by: Melissa | 2008/10/15

Hi Soul

I should be about 6 weeks along. I dont know anyone that I can trust, my friends are a no go area, some are pregnant right now, and one of them cant have kids and has miscarriaged.

I cant put it off for much longer, this is something that I need to take care of.

The clinic that I' ve booked offers counselling before and after the procedure.

Reply to Melissa
Posted by: Soul | 2008/10/15

This is only a decision you can make. However based on everything you said you seem quit torn by the decision you have made.
Can' t you put it off for a few days, speak to someone who you really trust that you can share this with and then make a decision.

Making a tough decision like this is going to effect you for a long time, look at what it' s doing to you now.

I understand that you don' t want to dissappoint your parents but are you doing this because of them and what their reaction will be or are you doing this for you. Granted I understand they will be upset but in time that will change and they will love you and stand by you and they will love your baby.

I think you need more time on making a decision that you not 100% sure of.

How far along are you?

Reply to Soul

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