Posted by: Dicksy | 2009-03-09


My husband cheated on me and i discovered that and he told me not to call his mistress.I asked him whether he told that lady about our marriage he said yes she knows i' m married.
He said he will end the relationship and we work on our relationship cause he got involved cause after realising that i kept my financial status a secret and spent a lot of money without involving him.
He was upset and angry and he said he retaliated by having an affair to spite me.

On saturday i became curious and called the lady, she told me that my husband told her that he is not married he is a divorsee and he is staying alone with his kids in the house.He told her many things which are not true.When i confronted him he says i just want to be miserable why did i call her? He said he never told her those stories she just says to hurt me, and he is disappointed cause i trust a stranger than him.He says i don' t have to involve that lady cause he is got nothing to do with her, and he will appreciate if i could stop calling her.He said he feel embarrased by the way he took things to resolve his anger but instead made things worse.He told me that we should put the past behind us and look forward

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Our expert says:
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If the money you were spending without consulting him happened to be YOUr money, which you eared, it's hardly something he should complain about --- and vertainly doesn't justify cheating. BY all means indicate to him that you are willing ( if indeed you are ) to move on, but only if he joins you in proper sincere marriage counselling, for the sake of both of you, to identify and deal with all the issues that both both of you, including those he has raised. And if that can't be achieved with both of you working on it, then separation would be something to consider

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Our users say:
Posted by: Oh No !! | 2009-03-09

I hope you are planning your future without him and sooner the better. Cheating, no matter how or why or whatever is the ultimate insult, the most demeaning and deal breaking act that can be acted out against another. No one can EVER recover from that. There is no ammount of promising, begging, pleading that can ever resolve that disgusting act. You know of course that he could not have loved you, even one little bit (sorry I know that this hurts deeply, but its the truth) before embarking on that self centered little act of his. If you stay with him, you will have lost your self respect for ever. He will see you as a loser and too timid to take him on and kick him out. He will continue, believe it. Best wishes to you.

Reply to Oh No !!
Posted by: Soul | 2009-03-09

He needs to grow up and take responsibility for his actions. He didn' t have an affair because of the amount of money you earn or spend, he had an affair cause he wanted to.

Reply to Soul
Posted by: nosense | 2009-03-09

it makes no sense that a man would have an affair because his wife spends/earns more/doesnt tell him etc ...just makes NO SENSE ... its your money...whats that got to do with infidelity? faithlessness? breaking the bond between you and him? N O T H I N G.

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