Posted by: g-man | 2008-11-03

death of a loved one

Hi CS, i need some help please.i lost my mum last month and i do no know what to do. i feel so lost.Nothing really matters to me now and i hate feeling this way. we were very close and i tried to do anything and everything that she wanted.I have no go anymore and feel like just leaving everything. I still have my brother with me and i want to be strong for him as well, but at this point, i cant. is there anything that i can take or do just to get me back on track?......Many thanks

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Our expert says:
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Dear g-man, I know exactly how you feel, having lost my own mum a few months back. ANy grief is disorienting and difficult, especially at first, and only gradually improves over months. Its worse with a parent, and worse still when you nhad been a major part of each other's life, and where you were involved directly in her care. Medication doesn't help, though counselling can help. YOu don't immediately need to be strong, but of course, knowing her as well as you did, you know what she would hope for, for you. I'd guess that she'd expect you to be very sad for a while, but would want you to continue living and working, and work towards being able to remember her with joy and not only with pain and sadness.

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Our users say:
Posted by: b | 2008-11-04

Hi g-man
My mom passed away in june. It is hard. It hurts. you sometimes feel like ripping someone' s head off etc. Talk to her. even though u can' t see her.... It helps. tell her how u feel etc....They say that the person that has departed can still hear and see us although we can' t... I believe that,,,,,, although it may sound stupid... My brother in law passed away before I met my husband. His radio gave him some trouble... it would change stations on it' s own....usually it jumped from jacaranda to five fm... We used to say that is was J' s way of comunicating with him... eventually we bought a new system.. but the radio stands in the garage.. My other brother in law passed away 2 years ago.... same sernario. but his time it is the television that switches itself on or off.... It started before we found out that my sister in law was seeing someone else..guess he wasn' t to happy about it.. it stopped and a few days it started again... Just after his murder trail was over... my point... They can see and hear us and some have a way of comunicating with us.. so talk to her... write her letters it will make u feel better....

Reply to b
Posted by: G-man | 2008-11-03

Thanks CS and K, i guess it is very difficult for me to let go. i guess the hardest part of it is that i lost my dad abt 3 years ago and feel that it is unfair for me to lose my mum also. But i guess she would want me to go on with life and be happy. thanks so much for the advice

Reply to G-man
Posted by: K | 2008-11-03

Seetie, you have every right to NOT BE STRONG, You have just lost your mom.
I am so sorry for your loss.

Reply to K

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