Our expert says:
At her age it would be very difficult for her to udnerstand what was happening, except to recognize that it was awful. What is often most frightening to a child is not so much what is actually happening ( which they may not understand the significance of ) but they ma be terrifed by the responses of the adults round them. If we act calmly and capably, they feel better ; where we panic and scream as apparently your mum did, the child resonates to YOUR fear.
AT her age, explanations about heaven may not be understood and thus not comforting. A child psychologist or child psychiatrist might be able to help assess her gently, to understand how this is troubling her, and to help her adjust to it. Right now, she might not understand death - she will certainly not understand it even ad badly as most of us adults do, but may fear that something a absolutely awful that frightens the adults, can happen without warning - and that feels scary
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