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Question
Posted by: Me | 2011/01/27

Death

How do you deal with the death of someone you know, when does the hurting stop

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

There is no definite answer to that, and anyone who gives you one, has never grieved nor known anyone who has.

It depends on you and the person, and your relationship ( sometimes its worse after an ambivalent relationship than a steadily good one, for instance ); on how they died ( its more difficult when its unexpected, violent, and where you have some reason, logical or illogical, to blame yourself ).

In the best circumstances its at least 6 to 9 months, but some aspects of the Grief Work take years

If it's especially hard for you, consider seeing a counsellor with some experience in this area, to help make the process more productive.

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

2
Our users say:
Posted by: Outsider | 2011/01/27

Hi Me,
My father passed away when I was only 11/12 and am now 33, it has been a very difficult path for me, in all the years, each day I thought of him, I would just be so sad and tears would roll down my face. I have a few photos of my father and it has been too difficult for me to put them up because the hurt and sadness inside my heart has been so great.

For the past year, he has been on my mind often and have felt the urge to put up photo''s of him, and can honestly say that i am only now coming to terms with his death.

Seeing his photo regularly is I think what is helping me, and speaking about him and hearing the good things about him and remember the happy times shared together is healing on its own.

Be Strong!

Reply to Outsider
Posted by: cybershrink | 2011/01/27

There is no definite answer to that, and anyone who gives you one, has never grieved nor known anyone who has.

It depends on you and the person, and your relationship ( sometimes its worse after an ambivalent relationship than a steadily good one, for instance ); on how they died ( its more difficult when its unexpected, violent, and where you have some reason, logical or illogical, to blame yourself ).

In the best circumstances its at least 6 to 9 months, but some aspects of the Grief Work take years

If it's especially hard for you, consider seeing a counsellor with some experience in this area, to help make the process more productive.

Reply to cybershrink

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